I'm 26 years old, I have a stable job, but my mother keeps saying, 'They will come to meet you wherever we go.' It's really getting on my nerves to still be subjected to this at my age. Even when I try to explain myself, she doesn't understand. Have you experienced such things too? How did you deal with it?
We also had this kind of pressure. My mom would constantly say things like, 'Meet this girl, she's a good girl from a good family.' In the end, I sat down and said clearly, 'I'm not ready to get married, this topic is closed.' We had quite a discussion, but then she gave up. I think you should be straightforward and clear.
My aunt was doing the same thing, and my cousin completely lost it. Their intentions aren't bad, but when they keep pushing, a person just snaps. I think you should sit down and have a serious conversation with your mom for a week or so, let things cool down a bit. Then calmly explain why you're not in a hurry to get married.
The net solution is this: Don't take the parents to places where they'll have matchmaking conversations again. Get them into a friend environment so they can see how comfortable you are. Maybe they'll think differently. The more you keep transporting them everywhere, the more pressure will increase.
But on the other hand, isn't your mother's sadness normal too? You're 26 years old, you have your own job and life, I think you can handle the stress of marriage in your own established routine. After all, this isn't something for an 18-year-old. Maybe your mother is pressuring you because she's thinking of you; it's worth discussing, I'd say 🫣
In such situations, families' concerns are generally cultural. They mean well but often feel they've lost control and try to solve things with pressure. If verbal communication with your mother isn't working, leave a written note or have a third party (relative, family friend) intervene.
Let me add this: I'm really so tired of my mother's pressure that I don't even feel like going out anymore. No matter what environment I'm in, she says, 'Oh, she's just making an excuse to get married.' It feels like there's no end to this. Should I be tougher, I wonder?
The issue here is entirely about your mother interfering in your life. It's not healthy for her to pressure you into something like this without your consent. As long as you don’t set a boundary and say, 'This topic is closed,' she won’t understand that you are an individual. It’s not her dream; your life is what matters.
