Hello, my friend has completely cut off from social life due to credit debts. Sometimes I offer to go out, but it either affects him psychologically or it causes financial barriers. Losing things has started to feel difficult for him. How do you think this situation should be resolved? What should I do to support him?
but this is actually his problem
I had a friend like that too, they completely withdrew. After a while, when I stopped pushing, they relaxed, but of course, the relationship became distant.
Do you live in the same house? Or are you in different places?
@biseydiycem but it's not that simple, support may be needed in friendship. I think it could be a deeper issue.
@yazipsildim no, we live in different houses but we're very close. We used to see each other all the time, but now we've drifted apart.
If your friend's financial concerns are constantly affecting them, you might suggest that they seek advice from a financial advisor. It will both relieve them and help find a solution.
Isn't directing them to a financial advisor a bit over the top in this situation? I think you should talk honestly first and ask them directly what they think.
Do you know if your friend is doing any budget planning? If their income doesn't cover their expenses, talking about it won't solve anything. Create a simple table and take a look; maybe there are gaps they haven't noticed.
You say we are this close, but has he ever asked you for a loan? Because usually, in such situations, that’s the thing that will be asked for after a while. If your social life has shrunk, he might be expecting support from you. It might be worth confronting him directly.
Maybe your friend is distancing themselves because they're embarrassed about the debts? I mean, they might even be hesitant to share the situation, let alone ask you for money. They could be retreating into their own corner and trying to solve it on their own; I'd suggest to try to understand without pushing.
How far will friendship go when you’re trying to understand your friend without forcing them? I mean, if there's a situation affecting my social life, I’d want to retreat to my own corner as well. How long will their escape last with your constant understanding? I think it’s time to do a little cost-benefit analysis.
