I'm about to get married and my family is insisting that we have to put so much gold on the wedding, which is really straining our budget. My fiancé is getting a bit annoyed with this situation as well. They even said, "We'd be happier if we don't involve families too much." But what if they say something? What should I do, how should we solve this? I'm stuck.
I think you should sit down with the family and talk directly and respectfully. Go with your fiancé and say that your budget doesn’t allow for this but you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You can set a clear figure: something like "We can manage this much, anything beyond that will be very difficult for us." Generally, they are understanding when you speak clearly.
I swear I was in the same situation, my mom insisted on wearing a certain number of bracelets. My fiancé and I defined our own boundaries, and when we explained the situation, my mom finally got convinced. But it was tough, so when talking, stay calm and stick to a single decision.
Did you ask Ailene why they placed so much importance on this desire for gold? I mean, did they ask for something like this during the engagement or was this crisis completely related to the wedding? Maybe they have another reason in mind, you could ask and find out.
Isn't this really ridiculous? After all, you are the ones getting married, why is everyone planning your money? My friend went through something similar at her engagement; they didn't have an engagement party, and their families reluctantly accepted it. I think, just like your fiancé said, don't complicate things too much.
It feels like there's a bit of backstory here. For example, is your family's insistence normal, or have they interfered in things like this before? Or has this wedding issue become a catalyst? Maybe they're testing you to see how you and your fiancé act.
I think your fiancé's reaction is normal. Men are generally more sensitive about these material things because setting up a household is often seen as their responsibility. If you directly resolve the issue with your family, it will be easier for your fiancé to relax; don’t pressure him too much in between.
Honey, if I were you, I’d have a proper talk with my family first. But don’t forget that the gold thing is a bit of a tradition. Your parents might want it thinking about you, maybe for when you might need it down the line. But if you really don’t have the budget, you need to say it clearly and sweetly.
Honestly, these kinds of things happen in every marriage now, I know a lot of couples that are strained because of the gold issue. It can happen because families think in an old-fashioned way. Most likely they want to secure themselves, but if you don't draw the line, it never ends 😅
The gold issue may seem exaggerated, but families may have a valid demand. After all, if you don't work someday and have a child, these kinds of things will be necessary. I think you should show that you can put your hand under the stone together; simply saying "no" is not a solution.
