We are preparing for marriage and we keep getting tense when discussing wedding expenses. My family wants us to increase the amount of gold, while my fiancée is saying, 'This is too much.' I'm stuck in the middle; I don't want to upset my family, but I also want to make sure my fiancée isn't sad. How do you think this situation can be resolved?
I think your fiancé is right. Gold is already a significant expense, and it’s a burden that you both will carry together. Of course, your family's wishes are understandable, but it seems like it should be a bit more suited to your situation. In other words, balance is important on both sides.
Honey, to be honest, if I had a daughter, I would say, 'Don't shake yourself too much, you can do it with a little gold.' Your family should also think about you a bit from your perspective. If you get into debt one day, it will affect them too.
I think you should be a bit clearer here too. If your fiancé can say to her own family, "this much gold is too much," why can't you draw that line with your family? You don’t want to hurt them, but there's honestly a vibe that it seems much easier to hurt your fiancé.
From a financial perspective, it’s important to create a budget that won’t be a burden after the wedding. If increasing the amount of gold will lead to long-term debt, you can create a joint financial plan as a couple, or with families. So, if it’s not entirely possible, at least there can be an open discussion.
I'll also add that my fiancé already finds the wedding expenses excessive, but my family is particularly concerned about "not being ashamed in public." So, there are also some situations that are a bit showy. I don't know how to convince them.
Let's be clear here, I don't think the issue is about gold. There seems to be a power display among families, like a tension of 'we're contributing more'. This level of insistence can't be explained otherwise. Families need to find some middle ground among themselves.
Actually, what you call societal pressure is a bit like your excuse. I mean, you need to balance your own priorities with those of your fiancé. Otherwise, with the holiday coming up, families always want more. Where do you stand in this equation? Focus on that.
