We've only been together for a year, and yesterday my boyfriend asked for 20,000 TL as a loan. His business is struggling, but he doesn't hesitate to buy an expensive phone for himself. Beyond whether I can give it or not, I'm scared that I'm being 'used.' Does this mean there is no trust?
Such a thing would even cause a stir in the family. I mean, I would think twice even when giving that much money to my own brother, let alone to a girlfriend? You're not even married; the responsibilities are different. And buying an expensive phone on top of that makes it seem like a bad story. If my dad heard this, he would go absolutely crazy.
I think it’s a sign of being used. Such things are very common; is this all that’s asked of you? Look, someone who really needs it wouldn’t buy a phone or anything. If you ask openly, like, 'Will there be a problem if you can’t pay?' you'll understand from their reaction. In a similar situation, the guy had pulled back a lot when I didn’t want something.
You see, they say things are bad but they keep spending on luxury. It seems like if you mix these kinds of things up at first, it never ends well. Relationships are falling apart over money; first, ask yourself this question: Is this guy trying to be happy with me, or is he just taking advantage of what I have?
The topic of money is an area where you can draw boundaries in human relationships. Even if you're providing financial support, there should be a clear agreement, whether it's in writing or not, about the repayment plan—make it clear. Also, asking for a loan while indulging in luxury consumption can lead to a breach of trust. In such situations, the underlying give-and-take dynamic should be questioned.
You might be right. We talked again today, and he has asked the same amount as a loan from his family back home. But he's saying, 'support me, think of it as an investment of sorts.' There is a repayment plan and all, but honestly, his casual attitude continues to make me think.
This issue has officially become a topic for discussion at Sunday breakfast. When my friends found out about the situation I was in, one of them said, 'Don't worry about that much money, it's not a big deal.' But I don't think that's true... When men see such an opportunity, they think they've figured out the system. Besides, the fact that this is happening in this country made me even more suspicious.
