It has been 4 years since we divorced, he pays alimony regularly every month, but now he said, "Let's end this arrangement, you look after yourself, let's not force each other." The worst part is that I'm struggling because I still haven't been able to find a job. Do you think this conversation is an ultimatum? Or is he right?
I think he's saying that just because it suits him. It could be an excuse like a job cut or something. Also, since he knows about your unemployment situation, it seems to me that he wants to put a little pressure on you. If you're struggling, I think you shouldn't accept it right away.
But you can't live off alimony forever, right? It's been a process that's been going on for 4 years where you haven't found a job. What if they are right and really pushing you? You have to think about your own adjustments now.
There is a legal obligation, and it must proceed through the court to lift that. But if they are coming forward with an offer and trying to persuade you now, it’s clear that they need your approval. I would normally recommend getting legal support in such situations.
I forgot to mention, he actually suggested helping me find a job first. But he gave a very random time frame like, 'You can sort it out in 6 months anyway.' So I found that part a bit insincere.
I had similar experiences with my ex as well; she said she was struggling financially but then changed her car. So in these situations, people usually speak from their perspective. When I cut things off directly, I got into a lot of trouble; I'd advise you to think carefully.
I think that saying "we should understand each other well" feels a bit too tactical to me. In such a time, if they were truly sincere, they could have suggested another form of support instead of alimony; a common ground could have been found.
