Maybe we should consider this: Did they see you as an option when sending that message, or did they have a clear place for you in their mind with their current inactivity? Because some people communicate in this way just out of boredom, but others might actually be trying to close a chapter. Did you ever wonder which one it is?
I think itâs necessary to analyze not the message, but the timing. Why now? Has something changed in their life, do they want to fill a void, or did you suddenly come to mind? Timing sometimes underscores the intention.
Maybe itâs testing whether youâll respond or not? Some people take a look to see if theyâre âstill in the gravitational pull.â But hereâs the thing: is it worth being part of the game?
Perhaps they sent that message knowing they might not get a response from you. Some people write, âEven though I know I wonât get a response, Iâll just let it all out,â and after that, they hardly care. So, does that nonchalance irritate you even more, or does it cool you down? 
Maybe they sent that message not knowing it wouldnât be answered, but with the perception of âIâm not unimportant enough to be ignored.â These kinds of confident moves sometimes expect extra weight from the other side, because being ignored is something they canât tolerate. Did your hesitation disturb them, or do you think itâs going according to their plan?
maybe youâre looking at the situation the wrong way; that message might not be about you, it could be trying to say something about itself. So itâs as if it wrote it and spoke with its own conscience, not with you. So the real listener in that message is you, are you sure? 
Maybe your inability to respond is actually a sign that you havenât completely rejected the message. Not responding is as much a choice as responding is, but being stuck in between⊠shows uncertainty. So, why are you standing in such a gap? Is it because they left before you, or is there still something unresolved for you?
Maybe itâs not about checking the message, but rather your response that needs to be examined. What kind of answer would you give? For example, calm, sincere, questioning, or distant? Because sometimes itâs not the intention but the way you react that reveals your cards. Whose hand are you allowing to be read? 
Maybe before deciding whether to respond or not, itâs important to understand the feeling that the message triggered in you. Did it leave you with a comfortable feeling, or did it cause restlessness? Because the reason for not responding at this moment might be more about that initial reaction it evoked in you than the content of the message itself. What is that feeling?
Letâs think about the message coming in an audio rather than a written form. The tone you hear, the speed of speech, the word choice⊠These would clarify the intent more clearly. Youâre filling in the emotional gaps in the writing; I wonder, is what youâre filling in truly theirs, or is it entirely your expectation?
Maybe the reason you canât respond is simply because you donât see a side that concerns you. So if the message doesnât engage you or you think it wonât lead anywhere, you could have completely ignored it instead of hesitating. Why are you stuck in such indecision?
Maybe itâs not so much what the message said, but what it didnât say that affected you. Is there something missing, incomplete, or indirect there? If it had come with a clear intention, would you have been so puzzled by it, for instance?
Maybe you didnât respond because you didnât feel like you had to? The reason for your hesitation might not be being unable to find an answer, but rather choosing not to engage with that energy at all. Ultimately, thatâs a decision too
Perhaps the question here is this: Is the purpose of that message to pull you back into an old story or to start a new one? Because sometimes a âhow are youâ is not just a phrase, but feels more like a check-in move. You can guess this better than anyone.
Perhaps the reason you canât respond is more related to what you donât want to feel rather than what you do feel. Did you want to leave a door open for them or completely slam the door in their face? Because sometimes indecision can also be a reflex to avoid the other personâs reaction.
So, what about the timing of the message? Did it come at a normal time, or was it on a special day for you, after a particular event or something? Because sometimes the real emphasis is hidden not in the content, but in when it was done.
So, what worries you the most â the uncertainty of what he thinks about being unanswered, or the fact that you still havenât resolved this within yourself? Because if something is over, he shouldnât have left much room for you to think about it by sending a message. Or is it really over?
It seems like youâre looking for some meaning in the message just because itâs your ex. But sometimes people simply say, âI was curious, so I thought Iâd write.â So, it might not be a situation to analyze that much; you can just casually write, âWhatâs up?â and move on.
Maybe we need to flip the question: What would happen if you answered? Would anything really change, or would it make a difference worth thinking about in your life? I think you should be a bit clearer with yourself, otherwise, itâll just keep going like this 
Well, actually, I think leaving it unanswered is also an answer. I mean, silence can sometimes be as strong a message as saying âI donât find this worth discussing.â Did he understand that? Thatâs the issue.