Something very bad happened at my workplace today, I’m still shaking.
A woman who works with us wanted to break up with her boyfriend. The guy initially wrote, “I’m in the village, I’m coming.” The woman panicked and said, “What if he comes here? Should I go home?” I asked, “How does he know this place?” It turns out she had previously given him the addresses of both her workplace and her home.
To make matters worse, over the weekend, the guy slapped her. Then he sent private conversations and places they went to her daughter. So there’s physical violence, threats, and invasion of privacy involved.
The woman couldn’t bear the fear at work; we let her go home today, but I don’t feel comfortable at all. What’s the first thing to do in such a situation? Should we go directly to the police station, get a restraining order, or what can we do as a workplace?
Please don’t write suggestions like “they’ll make up, it’ll pass.” This feels very dangerous to me.
This is no longer a matter of relationship; it is a matter of security. He has slapped her, sent private conversations to a third person, knows the addresses, and is saying “I’m coming.” I think the woman should not be sent home alone; she should go to the police station with someone she trusts. The messages should not be deleted; a screenshot should be taken.
If someone says “They will reconcile,” that’s the most dangerous sentence. Times of separation are already periods where violence tends to increase. In the workplace, something like a security alert for the door or a warning about neighboring shops can be done. If the man comes, no one should try to talk; just call the police.
Sending private conversations to his daughter is a form of psychological abuse. He might be trying to humiliate the woman and force her to come back. That’s why the woman shouldn’t stay silent, thinking “I have been embarrassed.” The real culprit is the person who disseminated those images/conversations.
Karakol + removal application + evidence file. Messages, calls, those sent to her, any photos/reports related to the slap. Also, she should not return home alone. If necessary, she can stay with a close relative, but the address information should not be shared.
I think the line as a workplace should be clear: “if they come here, we won’t let them in, we won’t talk, we’ll call the police.” Some people make it worse while trying to intervene and calm things down. If there’s a threat, there’s no negotiation.
A neighbor of ours had a similar experience. The biggest mistake was saying, “Let’s just have one conversation and close it.” As the conversation went on, the man became more and more emboldened. The woman’s changing her number, privacy on social media, and not sharing her location were also important.
The woman also needs support from her daughter. Someone should calmly explain to her not to be angry at her mother: the one who should be ashamed here is not the mother, but the man who uses her private life like a weapon. In such situations, family pressure can leave the woman even more isolated
