We've been together for a long time, but recently I found out that my girlfriend has been messaging her ex. I don't know if there's anything going on between them, but this situation really bothers me. What do you think I should do? Maybe they're just friends, but I have a feeling of unease inside.
Friendship is a bit strange. I wouldn't accept it.
I had a similar experience; my partner said they were "only talking for work" with their ex, but it later came out that they were meeting outside of work too. I would suggest asking them to be open about it.
So where did you learn this? Did you see the messages or did someone say it?
@yazipsildim I saw the messages on your phone, I didn’t say anything directly but they noticed. At that moment, they made an explanation, saying, 'We need to forget the past.' 🙄
@aklimkaldi isn't it him who needs to forget the past? then why is he still talking? it's a ridiculous defense 🙄
if a healthy bond with the past hasn't been severed, such situations can lead to trust issues in the relationship. clearly express your discomfort, and if necessary, professional help can also be sought.
"Forgetting the past" and messaging about it is what kind of logic? It's a contradictory situation. But the real question is, are there limits in the conversation? Do you know what they are talking about?
If you don't know what they're talking about, how can you trust the "we're just friends" line? Maybe the guy still hasn't moved on, or maybe he has other intentions. I think you should ask directly; if he's dodging, you're right to be suspicious.
I think the issue is as much about what he does as it is about how you feel. He notices your discomfort, but if he's not taking any steps to change things, how satisfied does that leave you? Does it always have to be you who bends over backwards for things to get better? Think about that 🤷♀️
Well, think about it this way: if the person were someone who couldn't set as many boundaries even if they didn't have an ex, would you still feel the same way? Is the issue the person or a lack of principles?
