We started preparing for the wedding, but my fiancé and my mother had an argument over the cost of the gold. My mother insists that we shouldn't skimp on it, while my fiancé thinks there's no need to spend that much. I'm stuck in between, and to be honest, I don't know what to do. How do you think this situation could be resolved?
I experienced something similar during my engagement; you get so stressed that the joy of the occasion disappears. My mom said 8 bracelets, my fiancé said 3 should be fine, and in the end, we agreed on 5, but there was quite a bit of tension in the family. I wish we had limited expectations from the very beginning.
My mom insisted on making sure I found the "place of the tradition" as well. That's all good, but if you try to do every tradition, you'll never get out of debt. I think you should sit down with your mom and try to find a reasonable compromise. If this stuff doesn't get resolved amicably, weddings can be tough.
If I were you, I would write the wedding budget in an Excel sheet. Now, how much jewelry will you receive, and what will be left in your hands after the wedding? It's hard to clarify the decision without discussing income and expenses. This is actually a math issue. Speak transparently without upsetting anyone.
Let me add this: when my fiancée said, 'Why should these golds be as much as your mother says, who is showing what to whom?' my mother was offended. She said, 'This is a serious matter, it can't be done on the cheap.' I really feel stuck in between.
To be honest, I think your fiancé is right. They are probably keeping track of their own budget. What if your mom didn't put so much pressure? Wouldn't it be better to spend money on household items instead of gold? 😬
My spouse once said, 'Once we get married, we'll cash in the gold and invest.' But then at the wedding, they used the gold we received to pay off debts to their own family. So be careful in these matters; whatever is discussed at the beginning, let that be the case.
How much gold does your mother want, for example, has she specified a number? And will all the jewelry be yours, or is your mother's side taking some of it back? Depending on that, I think your fiancé's justification might change.
What kind of logic is this? Is your mother the one getting married? You should be able to make decisions with your fiancé. Just because your mother wants it, does that mean you have to go into debt? Learn to say no to unreasonable demands a little.
Sorry, but you seem to be indulging your mother a bit too. You're going to marry your fiancée, after all; you need to consider her financial situation more. Don't get caught trying to manage both sides and end up with bigger issues.
