I was doing quite well with my diet, but as my relationship with someone improved, I started going out to eat with them all the time. I'm not sure if they're right, but they say, 'You're fooling yourself.' Do you think it's right to bring up food in a flirtation, or should it remain a personal matter?
There's something else here. When I say "you're fooling yourself," it might actually not be about food, but rather about the relationship dynamics. Maybe they're trying to establish some unconscious control? Even if they openly say "I'm not concerned about your weight," it still feels like it's an issue for them.
Honestly, food is a personal matter, but it's not something completely closed off to flirting either. For example, if you see this as a problem related to yourself, that inevitably comes into play. It would make sense to consult with a dietitian again and plan together how to manage going out. You can also involve your partner in a constructive way.
This situation actually happens quite often. In relationships, meeting up to eat outside is more common at the beginning, which naturally affects weight gain or dieting. But this doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Maybe you're overthinking it right now. Besides, they like you just as you are; the real issue is how you feel about yourself.
'I like you this way' really got me. My boyfriend said the same thing, but then he added, 'but it would be better if you take care.' Sometimes relationships can't fully express what they think; you've already said you're embarrassed. I think you should just be direct and tell him how you feel.
I don't think this guy is saying it with bad intentions, though. When he says "You're deceiving yourself," he expressed it a bit awkwardly, but his real intent might be to comfort you. So it seems like he wants to spend time with you without making a big deal out of it. But if it's important to you, talk to him properly; he needs to understand.
What kind of logic is this? Saying 'I like it' and then saying 'you're just fooling yourself' is confusing, I think. If they spoke a bit more consistently, you wouldn't stress over it as much. They also need to respect your feelings; it can't just be dismissed like that 🥲
Update: I've just realized something; I said I was embarrassed, but I'm actually a bit angry too. Because this diet thing has meant a lot of effort for me, and now it feels like it doesn't matter at all. Maybe I really didn't explain it well, so I think I'm going to be more straightforward from now on.
Now, I'm sorry, but it seems like you're also letting go of your own control a bit. While you're saying flirting and eating, it feels like you're compromising your own decisions. The other person's fault isn't just choosing the wrong words; you also need to set your boundaries clearly. Your diet is your choice, not theirs.
