Patron is constantly making vague comments like 'women tend to be detail-oriented, you handle it.' I finally snapped and said, 'Women are detail-oriented but earn less; how does that work?' Now the atmosphere has changed, and he calls me for everything, piling on work. Do you think I was right, or did I put my job at risk?
I don't think you can solve anything by throwing insults, but sometimes it's intolerable, you're right. This guy clearly has stereotypical judgments about women in his head. His attacking you might be an attempt to intimidate you. Keep doing your job well, stay silent for a while; if he can't resolve his own silence, then speak up.
My friend's boss used to say similar things, basically saying that women are more organized and effectively assigning all the cleaning tasks to her. She pushed back, but then it always turned into extra work like, 'her detail is good.' I think bosses enjoy these manipulative tactics. Sometimes staying silent yields better results.
But you see, we usually say that men are like this, and it seems easy to blame the other side too. The guy might genuinely want someone detail-oriented; it's bad that he's expressing this with a sexist explanation, but he could also be thinking 'a woman can do better.' Maybe if you were to show him that you unconsciously think this way instead of reacting, he wouldn't be so defensive?
This situation actually overlaps with something known in workplaces as 'passive aggression.' If a person makes you feel uncomfortable indirectly and you respond in the same way repeatedly, it can create a cycle. Now, the burden it places on you could be another reflection of passive-aggressive behavior. If you are experiencing something that would be considered mobbing in terms of labor law, you can gather evidence such as communications and witnesses and consult a specialist.
Let me add this too, I actually blurted it out, I wasn't very controlled. I'm trying to do my job well, but sometimes it really feels like nothing matters. It's always "check this out, take care of that too"; it feels less about gender issues and more like I'm just piling on extra work. What should I do? I'm not really getting it.
