I just started working, and sometimes my boss says things that I can't tell if they're a joke or serious. The other day, for example, they said, 'That skirt looks good on you, but it's a bit short?' Am I possibly misunderstanding, or is this a boundary violation? What do you think I should do?
I experienced something similar. In my first job, my boss told me, "wear a longer skirt under that blouse, you're attracting attention." At first, I didn't understand, but then he started saying things like that all the time. They told me not to take it seriously, but I felt uncomfortable, and in the end, I told Human Resources. They took the complaint seriously, and he changed his behavior. If it goes on for too long, don't hesitate to speak up.
I think you're being a bit too sensitive. I mean, saying 'short' doesn't necessarily imply that the intention is bad. People sometimes say things like that in passing; we shouldn't immediately see it as a boundary violation. Maybe they're just trying to be sincere. Have you thought about it in a different context?
Such statements, even if they seem like jokes, can cross the boundaries of professionalism in the workplace. Particularly, comments like "the skirt is short" can be perceived as an intrusion into your personal space. It's important to gently express your discomfort when you feel uneasy. If it happens again, you may need to consult with human resources or higher authorities. Seeking support from an expert on such matters is also an option.
Let me also add that he was actually laughing when he said this, but his tone was very strange. I just laughed it off at that moment, but then it stuck in my mind. I started to feel like he was constantly twisting my words. Maybe I am really overreacting, but this situation bothered me.
Honestly, it depends on this boss's intentions. Is there a manager who has said something like that to me just once, "that color of your skirt really flatters you"? They have left no stone unturned in their comments. But I've noticed that they talk like this to other employees as well; these types do it to grab attention. I think you should take a closer look; maybe they say the same to everyone.
