My girlfriend recently asked to borrow money from me, but honestly, I'm feeling confused. This has never happened before. She seems to need it, but what if she doesn’t pay it back? There's also the issue of trust and I don’t want to feel used. What do you think should be done in a situation like this? If I decide to lend her the money, what approach should I take?
I experienced the same situation; we really reached a breaking point. At first, I thought they needed it, so I lent them the money. But two months passed, and it’s not even mentioned. I had to speak clearly, I said, 'when are you going to pay me back?' and they made a face. So, if you lend money, set a written or clear date from the start.
You have a situation here similar to my not being clear. If you don't trust me, why do you keep thinking about it? If you do trust me, then don't worry about whether I'll pay you back. But sitting here with doubts while also giving is a bit contradictory. I would suggest you make a clear decision first.
From a budget perspective, you need to be prepared for the risk of not being repaid. Is the amount you’re giving one that won’t put you in a tough spot? Trust issues in a relationship usually stem from uncertainty rather than money. Make a written plan, specifying how much and within what timeframe the repayment should occur. Since you said, 'I don't want to be used,' taking such steps is important.
Let me add that according to my girlfriend, she is in urgent need of money to support her family. But she seems a bit uneasy when this topic comes up. Frankly, this situation made me even more indecisive. I wonder if she might have borrowed from others before, I don't know.
He said he wants to support his family, but I think there's something else going on there. Maybe it's not for himself, but someone in his family is in debt or something? Or he might not be able to control his spending. People like this often say they want to help, but then have a tendency not to pay, so make sure to really question what’s happening.
