Hi, my partner doesn’t want me to earn extra income; they keep saying, 'Just focus on your work.' But I want to achieve a bit more financial freedom. I don't know how to convince them about this. Tension has started to build between us, and it makes me uneasy. What do you think I can do to resolve this situation?
I don't understand what this has to do with your girlfriend.
My ex-boyfriend also found these things unnecessary. But in the end, I stopped giving him explanations. It's one's own life, after all.
So why does it interfere so much with your earnings? Is it a necessity or just a whim?
@yazipsildim to be honest, we don't really need it, but I want to have my own savings. We're already managing everything with their salary.
@aklimkaldi why is there so much reaction to asking for your own money? I think it’s a matter of freedom. The guy might be tense, but you should also be clearer.
Sometimes people may perceive their partners' forays into new areas as a loss of control. You could try discussing this without personalizing it; for example, by simply talking about goals.
@hatconene I don’t think you should interpret it so harshly. They might just be worried; let’s not automatically think of it as trying to control.
I didn't really understand the "let me convince you" part. If you want to do a side job, you can, it's your decision. Even if it strains the relationship, you don't have to get their permission, do you?
Perhaps he thinks that you will neglect it while doing a side job? You can explain how to manage his time, so he sees that he can handle both work and a relationship. But it's completely your decision; if you're doing it to ease his mind, you're wasting your effort.
Perhaps he thinks that saving money will allow you to be more independent in the decisions you make together in the future? He might have the perception of, "Is he saving just for himself?" In this case, talk about common plans, otherwise, this is already his problem.
If everything is taken care of with his salary, it might be thought that this doesn’t create any extra burden on him. So did you directly tell him about this savings idea? Or did you just say, "I want a side job" and leave it at that? It’s normal for you to get a reaction without explaining your motivation.
