Hey girls, to be honest, I even feel weird writing this here, but I didn't know what to do. My boyfriend is messaging my closest girlfriend on Instagram, constantly commenting on her stories and stuff. He told me it's normal and that I shouldn't be jealous, but don't you think that's a bit too close? I feel like there should be some boundaries, but am I overreacting?
I think the situation is clear, you should talk openly with your partner. Ask them: 'Why is it important for you to talk so frequently?' If they continue the same way, clearly express that you are uncomfortable with it. This seems to be a boundaries issue. If necessary, the three of you can get together and discuss it.
I think these things are a bit strange. Is it normal to constantly comment on stories? Maybe they're writing things you won't see. Honestly, the ease with which they're acting seems suspicious to me 😬
I want to ask this: did this messaging just start, or has it always been like this? Also, for example, has your friend given you any explanation about this? How does he/she behave?
As a man, let me say that your friend's comments on stories don't necessarily mean he's betraying you. But of course, if it's happening constantly and he's talking to her more, that might cross a line. I think even if his intentions aren't bad, it could create some confusion.
There may have been a boundary violation here. Trust is very important in relationships, but trust doesn't mean unlimited access. You can remind your partner that they have a responsibility only to you, independent of their close friends. If the issues persist, discussing couples therapy could be an option.
I’m sorry, but isn’t your level of jealousy a bit too much? Maybe you’re exaggerating because you get along well with your friend. If you’re bothered by everything, your partner will feel overwhelmed, so think about that. Instead of getting so caught up in it, have some self-confidence first 🙄
The problem is that your partner doesn't take your boundaries into account. You say you're uncomfortable, and they dismiss this discomfort. This crosses the line of consent and disregards your emotional effort. It's essential that both individuals in a relationship respect each other's boundaries.
I had a similar experience; my ex was also texting with my best friend a lot. At first, they said 'we're just friends,' but later it turned into something else. I confronted them directly and faced both of them. My advice to you is to quickly set your boundaries and ask for a clear explanation.
