I have a serious relationship with my girlfriend and she has always been sincere. But I noticed that she still follows her ex and sometimes likes her photos. If I ask her now, she will probably say "we're just friends," but is this normal, or should I be concerned? Am I overreacting, what do you think?
I experienced the same situation. At the beginning of the relationship, he was following his ex as a friend and occasionally liking her photos. I told him I was uncomfortable at first, but he said "it's not a big deal," and then I realized he was messaging his ex. Once this starts slipping out of control, it gets hard to manage. I think you should talk openly.
This same issue had occurred with my spouse when we were engaged. They were still following their ex, but I drew a line. I said either you delete them or there will be a serious problem. In that moment, they deleted them, but our trust was shaken. You really need to be clear, there is no room for compromise in such matters.
So I feel like I have to ask a bit now. Maybe they actually just want to stay friends; it's not necessarily right to think there's something bad behind it. But I'm saying, after all, there's a lot of exaggeration control on social media, could you be blowing it out of proportion in your head?
The main issue here is that there should be clear boundaries in social media use. Even if it's said to be 'just friends', liking an ex's photo can be a situation that challenges your boundaries, so you need to discuss this. Transparency and trust are important in relationships. However, it would be healthier to question intent rather than jump to conclusions.
Let me add this, I didn't ask, but once her ex replied to her on DM. It was something short, then she showed it to me, but I didn't realize it at the time. Now that I think back on it, this detail is starting to bother me. Do you think everything is normal, really?
If I told my family about such things, they would say, 'Is that how a partner behaves?' In other words, one who carries the values seen by our family would already close the door on the old one. I don't want to make this sound too much like peer pressure, but you need to stand up for yourself, too. What does it mean to still follow your ex?
I think you need to be a bit cool. Most people don't stop following their old ones; after all, everyone has a past. But if they like your photos, that's a bit suspicious; it's hard to understand without talking. Talk to your friends too; they can give feedback more easily 🙄
Actually, this is quite common. People sometimes keep their exes on automatic follow, and likes are even done out of habit. It can be harmful to blow such details out of proportion and hurt the relationship. But of course, if there's a bothersome situation, it’s essential to talk about it.
