I've been in a really nice relationship with my girlfriend for a year, but recently I noticed that she's still following her ex on Instagram. It even seems like she occasionally likes the girl's photos. I want to ask her about it, but I don't want to come off as jealous. Do you think this is normal, or is it a serious boundary issue?
I experienced the same thing. My partner was following and liking his ex's posts. At first, I ignored it, but then I felt uncomfortable, so I asked him directly. He said, "It's nothing, it's just a habit," but it didn't sit well with me. Over time, my trust was seriously shaken, so I think you should talk about it, but not in a jealous way, just be clear.
As a man, I have to say, sometimes things like this really don't make sense. Following the past can become a habit. When it comes to liking photos, sometimes the algorithm shows the same ones a lot, and we like them without much thought behind it. But if you're feeling uncomfortable, it's definitely worth talking about.
I think you should speak openly. Calmly ask, 'I noticed you've been following your ex, why do you keep doing that?' You'll see their reaction, and if they understand the reason, they might stop. Directly expressing your feelings clearly could be a solution.
I want to ask you something: You said you like the photos, but when are these photos from? Is the girl sharing new ones, or are they old photos or something? Because the two would be a bit different. I think the answer to this is important 😅
Mutual trust is one of the most important things in relationships. If a partner is still in contact with an ex or has social media connections, it isn't always a problem, but the message that is being sent to the other party is important. This situation won't be resolved without expressing your discomfort in an appropriate manner. I believe that in professional relationships, such boundaries should be clarified through discussion.
Let me update you: The photos are probably new, since the girl posted them about 1-2 weeks ago. I saw them among the popular posts. It seems there are not just one photo but a few. I finally asked her and she said, 'It's nothing, why are you so hung up on it?' But I'm still not at ease.
