Iâve been having some arguments with my partner for a while now because they keep making comments about my appearance, saying things like, âYou might want to lose a bit of weightâ and âThis hairstyle would suit you better.â Honestly, I was feeling good about myself, but as they keep saying these things, Iâm starting to doubt myself. Do you think this is normal, or are they being overly critical? How might this affect my relationship?
9 Answers
9My ex used to say things like this to me too, always telling me to âlose weightâ and stuff. At first, I didnât care, but then I got really down about it. I think it can seriously crush your self-confidence after a while, so have a serious talk with him about it.
I donât think comments like this are normal, especially things like âYou would look better if you were a little thinner.â A person should accept their loved one as they are. If they keep criticizing, it means itâs not love anymore; itâs turned into something else 
But now thereâs also this: what if they didnât say it with completely bad intentions? Maybe they meant it to make you feel better, like a form of motivation. As you react, they might have unknowingly pushed more 
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Focusing on appearance all the time can, in my opinion, indicate that there might be something different going on beneath the surface. Perhaps thereâs some dissatisfaction with themselves, or a problem in the relationship dynamic. You should try to talk honestly for a while. If things donât improve, couples therapy could be considered.
I want to add that it didnât used to be like this at first. But recently, they say it more often; for example, when I donât do my makeup before going somewhere, they say, âYou look careless.â Now Iâm confused about what to take seriously and what not to.
You need to sit down openly and say, âThese comments are bothering me.â Just say what you feel directly; if you say, âIâm tired,â maybe theyâll realize. If they donât get it, itâs going to be tough.
Actually, I think men sometimes talk like this because they want to be clear about what they like. But if they keep bringing up the topic of weight, thatâs a bit strange, because a loving person wouldnât interfere. Ask him, maybe he meant something else with his comment about the hairstyle.
As a man, let me say that we often say such things without even realizing it. Maybe he meant to be constructive when he said âit would be nicer.â But if he keeps repeating it, you need to remind him to be more mindful in his speech.
My girl, ask yourself this: if this guy doesnât accept you as you are now, what will he do while trying to please you tomorrow? If you were my daughter, I would say to you, first value yourself. Donât be upset by anyoneâs criticism again.