I split everything 50/50 with my partner, but honestly, sometimes I struggle. Would it be selfish to tell them this and ask for support? Or would even that affect the relationship? What would you do in this situation? I'm quite confused.
I had the same thing too, everything was half and half but at one point it completely exceeded my budget. I stated it explicitly, and they took it normally. After all, everyone's situation is different; how can you come up with a solution without showing that you're struggling? 🫠
I think you should talk calmly without seeing it as a problem. Start by saying, 'There may be times when I need financial support.' If you say directly, 'I'm struggling, help me,' they might become defensive. Tone is important here 😅
How long has it been like this? Did you agree on this from the beginning, or was the half-and-half system introduced later? Perhaps a different arrangement could have been discussed from the start?
While equality may generally seem ideal in relationships, the financial burden should be proportional to everyone's income. Economists define this as 'fair distribution.' If your income level is different, this equality is actually not fair. Language should be chosen carefully, and concepts like 'responsibility sharing' can be discussed.
I forgot to add this: We're both working, but his income is higher. By the way, we're not forcing anything to share, so we said voluntarily to make it 'equal', but some months my budget is tight. Maybe I should discuss some flexibility like 'I'll cover this much this month' for a while?
Some months the budget being tight can really get you down, I understand you. Just being able to say "this is my situation" can bring some relief to a person. So you are definitely not selfish; talking about it is the healthiest thing to do.
Equal pay can sometimes create a sense of 'fairness' from a man's perspective, but in a serious relationship, it's important to think long-term. Supporting you doesn't belittle him. I think there's no pride beneath the conversation.
I think a man needs to take on a little more responsibility. Haven't we seen that in the family already? The woman calculates every detail, tightens the budget; I think that's an unfair distribution 🙄
