I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She said it happened unintentionally the first time, that she was drunk the second time, and that she didn’t love anyone the third time, but I still can’t get over these things. Is it possible to save a relationship after infidelity, or are some things irreparable once they are broken? I am incredibly indecisive.
I found out he had cheated a couple of times like this as well, and he defended himself with the same excuses. At first, I thought, 'maybe he will change,' but by the third time, I had lost all faith. I broke up with him, and now when I look back, I wish I had left him the first time.
Clearly, you have a trust issue and you can't maintain this relationship in a healthy way. To put it bluntly, get support from a couples therapist or just end it. Otherwise, this mindset will consume you.
How can someone who says they don't love anyone love you? The situation is clear, actually; you need to digest this and take a step forward. Consider seeking professional help for yourself 😳
"Did you say it was unintentional? You've been together for 2 years, do you really believe that? And now she says, 'I can't love anyone.' So, no anger, but you also need to take a look at yourself a bit. Why do these excuses bind you so much? 🥲"
If we are to attribute behavior, there is inconsistency in what this person says. Someone who constantly makes excuses is unlikely to have the intention of correcting their mistake. If trust is fundamentally broken, this bond may not be able to be reestablished. Seeking professional support and conducting a consistency test can make a difference.
Let me add that I didn't really believe it when he said it happened unintentionally, but I stayed quiet so that the relationship wouldn't end. I think that's why what he said in the third instance affected me so much. My indecision is also partly due to the fear of regretting it later.
As far as I'm concerned, this person's saying they can't love anyone is also a way of escaping. I mean, I think there's someone, but either they don't have the courage or their situation is complicated. It's clear that they aren't being honest with you 😂
The only thing that doesn't sit right with me is this: Why not one, not two, but three? Knowing that the third one came with the same excuses, you still allowed it to go this far. So, your excessive tolerance here has already become a mistake.
As a man, let me put it clearly: the intention of a guy who does it three times is obvious. Saying "I'm drunk" and evading responsibility is just a typical escape. If you're looking for good intentions at this point, that void probably doesn't exist.
