My sister lives abroad but every time she visits, she completely takes over the house. She's been with us for three weeks now and is interfering with everything. She's changed the kitchen arrangement and is even bothered by my bedspreads. At first, my husband was getting along well, but now he is uneasy. Anything I say seems to upset her. Should I be straightforward, or should she just understand by herself?
It happens a lot like this. The guest mentality doesn't quite fit with us. I also had an aunt like the one you're talking about, she would completely redesign the house as soon as she arrived. In the end, my mom said it openly, she was a bit hurt but it got better.
If she's married, does she have a partner, or is she coming alone?
@bugun_degil only comes alone, usually comes often due to work, but normally wouldn't stay this long.
I think you've given too much permission from the start. If someone came to my house and tried to change things around, I would tell them immediately. You didn't set boundaries from the beginning, so now let's talk without wasting any time.
The issue of psychological boundaries is somewhat like this; it should have been a point where we talk politely by saying, 'this is my space.' When people interfere without permission, they can actually be annoying even with good intentions. You need to say it short and directly, otherwise it will continue.
@yazipsildim you seem to be really tense from the start. okay, you need to interrupt when necessary, but not everyone can react the same way. and this brother here, he's not a stranger.
If you're uncomfortable, speak up. If they don't understand, there's no need for them to stay any longer.
