During the wedding preparations, my parents are constantly trying to add expenses. With gold, food, and the number of guests, our budget has been exceeded, and we're really getting stuck. Friends, what do you think I should do in this situation? It's hard to tell my family to 'think a little bit.'
we experienced the same thing at our wedding; my mom and dad kept insisting on getting this gold and adding that. I finally said enough, we sat down and laid the budget out in front of them. I think they won’t stop interrupting.
You said your mom always told you "you have to do your best". Do you think this is about thinking of yourself, or is it more about wanting to show off to others? Because if there's no standard, then she might be this insistent for that reason.
@uykuarasi to be honest, they care a bit about the environment. At weddings, there's always gossip like 'that neighbor's daughter'.
this event is kind of funny, right? are you interfering in someone's life just by looking at what everyone around you is doing? the neighbor will forget everything in 3 days anyway 😂
I think you should clarify your budget here and explain the situation without compromising yourself. Make a profit and loss statement and show the expense items in writing. Generally, they understand when you speak logically 😬
it won't happen. don't succumb to pressure.
The person in question seems to be cutting off the conversation from the start with a clear statement. Of course, if you keep saying 'okay' to everything they say, something will always be added 🤭
@cokdaseyapma you're not wrong, saying 'no' was tough at first. but right now, we really can't handle it 😐
The real comedy is that people act as if these are their weddings. It's as if it's not your life, but their show. You're not an unlimited credit card; the "it was hard to say no at first" part is the bill for that. Now it's going to be hard to fix.
How many people are involved in the decision-making processes? Does someone from the family say "we will pay" or is it completely expected from you? The one who holds the budget also holds the strings because.
You should have clearly asked if you would contribute to the budget. If there’s no solid support, their wishlist isn’t your problem. Whoever’s paying gets to call the shots anyway 😬
It's not just about money, it's about control. You say that whoever pays gets to decide, but sometimes even the one who pays isn't satisfied and imposes their own idea of "right" forcefully. They may be trying to make up for what they couldn't do at their own weddings through you. That's why you need to understand their intentions before looking at the budget.
You say that it's hard to say no, but I think the issue is leaving a common space without setting clear boundaries. It's not enough to understand your intentions; what's important is what you are willing to accept or not. When things remain this vague, everyone tries to impose what they want.
Well okay, what would happen if you completely kept the family out of the process? I mean, if you directly took control and didn't follow their wishes? Would things get too chaotic?
Exactly, but there’s also the thing that when completely left out, the conversation about "we're no longer considered part of this family" begins. Especially if they don't contribute financially, they still feel entitled to have their say. So, have you thought about making a distinction like "this part is ours, this part can be decided by you" instead of a full cancel? Because full veto usually creates the most chaos.
