An aunt of mine keeps saying things like, 'Make sure to research his character well, I'll tell you what I heard, and then it's up to you.' But she's not mentioning anything concrete. If there is something true, I'd like to know, but what if she’s just trying to meddle? What would you do in my place?
'Let me tell you, and then it’s up to you,' he said, and I couldn't help but laugh because when I told the same thing to my friend, he said, 'If I hadn’t heard that sentence from my aunt, I would feel incomplete.' There’s always this air of knowing it all; I was really fed up.
The main issue here is this: Is your aunt making a concrete claim? Or is she just trying to unsettle you in an ambiguous way? If it's about feeling uneasy, it's healthier to speak openly in close relationships. But if she is saying something clear, you need to find out and assess it accordingly.
I think you should be clear and straightforward. Tell your aunt, 'If you know something concrete, say it clearly, otherwise please don't get involved.' Such vague things wear you and your fiancé down. The sweeter you talk, the more it will come back to bite you 😂
Let me add that my aunt is actually not talking about my fiancé, but more about things like 'make sure to research his family well.' But she still doesn’t provide details. So I’m not exactly sure what she means 🤷♀️
But what does he base it on when he says 'research this family well'? Has something happened before? Was there an incident in the past between your fiancée's family and your aunt? These are very important.
There's always someone like Halan in the family. While pretending to 'protect' you with sweet talk, they're actually planting doubts in your mind. Especially if they're not providing any details, that's even more frustrating... You don't know what to trust and what to ignore.
But if you haven't done any research about your fiancé either, then part of the fault is yours. The harmony of your families, past events, your fiancé's temperament... These things don't just run on "love." Maybe your aunt isn't talking for nothing?
'It's easy to say, 'If you know something concrete, just say it,' but if these people are given so much space, the topic never ends. There's always an investigation into the family or a check on their character... What kind of logic is that? They should mind their own business like decent human beings. When the topic comes up, they seriously think they've learned everything.
