How can I resolve this situation at home? I love my fiancé very much, but the pressure from my mom is really challenging for me; I'm struggling to find a balance. I have to consider my mom's feelings when making my own decisions.
I had a similar situation where my mom didn't like my fiancé's profession. We talked openly; I asked my mom, "Will I be happy with someone else?" and she calmed down a bit. But it took time.
Does she say why it’s not suitable according to her? Or is it just in the "I felt it" sense? 🙂
@kahvebitmeden my mom actually thinks there are issues with my fiancée's family. "They won't fit into our structure," she says.
@aklimkaldi I'm sorry, but the issue isn't with your fiancée; why is your mother blaming her? After all, everyone can't choose their family.
In such situations, it is essential to clearly establish boundaries for both parties. You can explain to your mother that you are making decisions as a couple, and you can request your fiancé to "not intervene in family matters." However, the solution may take time.
Not keeping it at home isn't a solution. I think it definitely needs to be talked about 😅
Did you hear directly from the mother about her issues with her fiancé's family, has she given a specific incident or example? Or is this judgment based entirely on "guessing"? Because if it’s being blown out of proportion based on assumptions, you can’t solve the real problem without finding it first.
It seems that the mother's feelings are not just based on assumptions; clearly, she has a concern related to family structures. However, saying "they won't fit into our structure" is too general; we need to clarify what they won't fit into, what the issue is. Otherwise, it will remain hanging as this vague "incompatibility," and everyone will feel tense. Clarify first.
If someone says "they won't fit into our structure", it means they have set a standard in their own way, but without clarifying what that standard is, how will you understand what they are not fitting into? Did they have a meeting, was there an incident, or is this just an assumption? Because if a real situation hasn't been discussed, this directly leads to prejudice.
If the other fiancé didn't have any issues with their family, where did this idea of "it doesn't fit our structure" come from? Is it something they heard second-hand or their own past experiences? Sometimes, people subconsciously hold themselves at a distance from things they see as different; is there such a situation here?
