My boyfriend is a teacher, and I am an engineer. My mom keeps saying that I need to find a different partner. She says, 'Occupational incompatibility will cause problems; you'll regret it later.' But I love him, and who cares about the profession? Do you think this is logical, or is it just unnecessary pressure?
I think there might be something else going on here. Is it just because their job is a teacher that they don't want this, or did they say something about their character to your mom? Or maybe they see another problem with you and are using this as an excuse. Moms sometimes don't say things outright; I think you should dig a little deeper 🥲
What the mother said about "career incompatibility" doesn't really make sense to me, but sometimes adults can judge the other person's perspective on life. Maybe they have concerns related to salary balance or job stress. But if they're thinking about it independently from your partner's personality, I think that's silly 🙄
But it seems like you don't really understand either. Is your mom someone who talks nonsense all the time? Or is such a thing happening between you two all the time? Maybe she didn't like something he did outside of 'teaching'. Instead of outright rejecting it, I think you should listen to your mom a bit 🤭
The pressure from families to conform to the 'right person' actually nurtures similar social/economic concerns in the future. The concept of occupational alignment is generally emphasized to avoid difficulties in future economic distributions. Here, it is important to try to understand your mother's main concerns in detail. It may be based on her own value judgments.
Let me add that after my mother said, "you'll be very sad if you marry the wrong man," she didn't say anything special. She said more things like, "teachers will put pressure on you with the salary, you won't be able to reach your common goals." So, I guess the topic is completely economic.
You might think that he cares about you because he talks about the balance of the other salary, but money can sometimes be a huge problem. If a life revolves solely around your income, what will happen to the man's psychology? I think you need to talk and look for a solution. Don't ignore it.
Look, let me be clear, sometimes mothers think from very different perspectives. Maybe she is just unable to express her concerns and is making excuses about money. But if he is truly the one you love, you both should sit down and talk. If you are planning your future, even your mother will eventually feel at ease.
