My mom constantly checks what I share on social media

My family has been checking my social media posts constantly for a while. My mom calls me after every post and asks, “What does this mean?” Sometimes, I can’t share what I’m thinking, it’s like there’s pressure on me. But I don’t want to talk about this situation where I feel misunderstood because I want everything to go well with my family.

My mom was stalking my ex’s stories for a while too. I swear it’s a weird situation, I want to say it won’t get solved without talking but it’s tough, you know? :joy:

Well, why don’t you just say it directly? If you just said, ‘I don’t feel comfortable’? :slightly_smiling_face:

@soncaykaldi I actually mentioned it, but they say, ‘We’re looking out for your own good.’ I stepped back because it seemed like it would get even more complicated.

But this happens as long as you allow it; if you say from the beginning ‘don’t look’, they might understand. In other words, it doesn’t work to say ‘let’s not mix with family, but let’s get along well’ at the same time.

In situations like this related to family, it’s really important to cut in and learn how to express yourself. Social media doesn’t matter; this can extend to your work and business in the future. I suggest you bring it up softly again at some point.

The headline is so dramatic that I first read it like “something really bad is happening.” Turns out it’s just for social media. I think your mom takes neighborhood pressure too seriously, or she’s making excuses for someone else.

I would have blocked it, there is no other way.

@uykuarasi So it seems like a short-term solution, but blocking the family might lead to bigger problems in the long run, and then it could lead to a rift :slightly_smiling_face:

Does she really believe she sees everything on the other account to be this relaxed? I mean, you are ultimately choosing what you share, and that’s even a filter in itself. Maybe if you said something like “I’m not showing everything, you’re exaggerating what you see” it would have an effect? You need to take a bit of control.

I’m not sure if it helps because if you say “as much as you see” to some moms, they get even angrier about what they can’t see. Maybe on the contrary, you could try to make them take the things you share less seriously? Like saying, “I’m not putting anything important anyway, just look and move on.”

Maybe Anne doesn’t fully understand social media; her sense of privacy is different from yours. Even if she doesn’t care about neighborhood pressure, she might be curious with thoughts like “what is my child doing”. Have you considered making a clear statement like “I stand by what I share, there’s no need for your oversight”? If you keep trying to explain, it might seem like the habit of control continues.