I'm 22 years old and I still feel like I have to ask my dad for permission. The other day I was supposed to meet my girlfriend, and my dad snapped, "Where are you going at this hour?" My family puts a lot of pressure on me, but I hesitate to talk openly about it. What would you do?
I was going through the same thing, I had my dad's pressure of 'You can't go out at night' until I was 23. But when we talked, I understood that his only fear was my safety. I think you should try to take your time and have a proper discussion 😅
My girlfriend literally said to me, 'Your dad probably fears you more than he fears himself.' I laughed a lot, but it could really be the reason. You can resolve it with conversations that don't exaggerate the pressure.
We normalize such controlling behaviors by saying we can't bear to part with our daughter. This interferes with your consent and your ability to build your own life. This could even be called emotional abuse; are you aware of that?
I have a question: while your father reacts this way, doesn't your mother ever intervene and talk? How does she behave, is she supportive or is she against it as well?
Let me add this too: my mom usually stays silent, but when I argue with my dad, she tells me, 'Be a little submissive, then we'll talk.' But she doesn’t really do anything to support me; it’s pretty complicated 🤦♀️
I think it's very clear that your dad is thinking about you. But is it really so hard to share things with him, like what time you'll meet or where you'll be? Instead of saying there’s pressure with childish moves, be a child who is trusted.
I think there might be something else behind your dad being so strict. Does he know your girlfriend? Or is there something related to your past that might be influencing this? It seems like there’s another detail involved.
