Can someone really spend that much?

Haven't you talked about this from the beginning?

I've been in a similar situation, my ex used to overspend. After a while, they suggested we create a joint fund, but the crisis escalated 🙄

Is this just happening with you, or is it a general thing? For example, does he also ask his friends for money? 🤔

Maybe you give a lot of space for this. If you supported every expense without talking in the beginning, what will you refuse now?

@yazipsildim actually, it's not just me; he sometimes seeks support from his family too. But it's clear that they are also disturbed.

@pazardandondum of course a person wants to help the one they love, but there should be a limit to that. Does it have to be every single time?

This situation is actually very typical. If you're going to create a joint budget, establish clear rules, but if you want the money to remain separate, make sure to state this in a serious conversation. Trying to manage both pathways at the same time creates chaos.

The main issue here is not just spending, but lack of control. Without taking responsibility, neither a budget plan works, nor can money be set aside to be solved. Haven't you ever asked why they feel the need to exceed the spending limit, why they feel compelled to spend at this level?

Asking for support from the Bence family changes the nature of the issue. This is no longer just a problem related to your relationship. It seems that no one has been able to stop the spending habits; this is an issue that goes beyond you. If even the family is tired of it, could it be a serious addiction?

If his family is troubled now, it’s probably been like this for a long time; you might just be noticing it now. For example, is this a "last crisis" or has it always been like this? We need to find out. If it’s a recurring cycle, I’m not sure if your attempts to resolve it will have any effect.

If this much detail is being discussed, it still seems like a clear boundary hasn't been drawn. Are you in a position to directly say, "From now on, I will provide this much support, nothing more"? If you don't make this statement, the situation will escalate further because if the usual order isn't broken, it won't change.