My fiancé and I are planning our wedding, but we keep arguing over money. My family is already providing a lot of support, but his family is unwilling to contribute. The costs for gold, the venue, and even the wedding dress are falling on us. Do you think this is fair, or is this just how things work?
I think it's unfair. If the gold, the venue, and the wedding dress are all completely on you, then this isn't really a partnership. After all, the wedding is an event for both sides; I don't understand why their family isn't supporting it at all. Talk it out and try to find a middle ground.
My situation was the exact opposite seven years ago. My mother-in-law did everything her way and my family gave up. Now I look back and think it's for the best because it prevents any bitterness from growing. But if you are paying for everything, that's a different matter.
But wait a minute, it might not be fair to badmouth his family just because your fiancé can't add money. Maybe the guy is struggling himself and isn't opening up about it to his family. Try to talk a bit about your fiancé's thoughts as well; it feels like you're negotiating with him instead of his family.
In such situations, the difference in families' economic conditions is usually the main issue. It may not be fair, but sometimes the other party cannot provide support due to budget constraints. To speak clearly, it's important to know both sides' situations. One should not be hurtful without understanding whether it is simply expecting constant help or if it truly is a matter of impossibility.
Let me add this: As our side, we're already taking on some things that their family should be doing. For example, we even covered the small dowry expenses. But their doing nothing is starting to bother us now 😂
Girl, if you get used to it from the beginning, these things will always be on you. If they keep trusting you and saying it's for the dowry or the wedding and all that, when you get married, the big expenses will also be yours. Have a serious talk about this with your fiancé.
It seems that not only financial aspects are unbalanced here, but the distribution of labor is as well. Why does one side start with a list of things that they "have to do" anyway? Getting married is a matter of mutual sacrifice. Even if you can handle it, it's a problem if your fiancé normalizes this.
