Does not choosing a wedding witness matter?

It's about feeling. Because the issue isn't just being a witness at the wedding, it's the feeling of 'where do I stand in your life.' Especially when you're running around during the preparations and get ignored at the table, it really sinks in.

Sure, of course.

I think you’ve exaggerated a bit. People can choose family elders, someone from work, a happily married couple, etc., when selecting witnesses. It seems harsh to read this just because they don’t like you 🙃

But doesn't it always happen that three friends end up together? One has a family elder, the second has a work colleague, and the third has someone else. One can't help but feel like they're just sitting on the bench.

I experienced this and cried a lot. I stayed up all night at the girl's henna night, and my boss was the witness at the wedding. My boss. That day, I realized that some friendships were more important in my mind 😂

It's normal to feel broken here, but don't devalue yourself with just one piece of data. When three events happen in a row, it can feel like a pattern. I think the real question is this: Do these friendships only reach out to you in times of crisis, or do they want to see you around during the good times too?

Let me add this, I wasn't too bothered by the first two, but the last one was the person I called my closest friend. In fact, before the wedding, they said, 'I wouldn't have been able to get through this process without you.' That's probably why they put in more effort.

Choosing witnesses can sometimes be more about appearances than love. They might select the boss, a wealthy relative, or someone significant from the family. So it may not be that they love you less, but it could also be for show 🥲

On our side, there was a silly belief that having a single girl as a witness brings bad luck. Maybe there's some family pressure or something, but don't throw the friendship away right away 🙄

They break people's hearts by saying things like it's bad luck or whatever. It's really disrespectful to set aside your closest friend just because they aren't married.

I think you shouldn't directly ask "why didn't you choose me as a witness" but maybe at some point calmly say "I was a bit hurt that day." Their reaction will show the real place of your friendship 🫢

If I were there, I would have sucked.

Looking at it like Aslı, the detail that seems small here is actually at the heart of the matter. If I were you, I wouldn't make a definitive decision without asking about that detail.