My partner has been constantly asking where I go and what I do lately. At first, I thought, 'they're just curious, they love me,' but now I really feel a bit uneasy. They even want to know who I’m talking to on the phone; is that normal? Or is it some kind of control attempt? Do you think this is jealousy or manipulation?
I had a similar thing happen to me too. At first, I thought, 'he's jealous, I like his attention,' but then the constant calls and questions like, 'who are you texting?' started. Love is one thing, this is another. In the end, I sat down and talked it out. It got a bit better, but it definitely didn't go away completely 🤷♀️
These could be signs of controlling behavior. It's hard to say if it’s manipulation, but if they are constantly questioning you and infringing on your boundaries, that's an unhealthy way to communicate. I would recommend seeking support from a specialist. Maybe you both grew up with different communication styles, which could be causing a conflict.
But here's the thing, how do you manage this situation? I mean, have you drawn a clear line saying 'that's enough' to them? Sometimes a person needs to show the other where they should stand. Otherwise, they always fall back on the excuse of 'I'm doing this because I love them.'
Let me add this too, it wasn't like this at first. It's been more in the last 2-3 months. I couldn't just say 'why is it like this?' directly, because I was afraid it might hurt them. I wrote here because I was already feeling uneasy. I don't want the relationship to end, but this situation is really exhausting me.
Something happened to him here, something that shook his confidence. Maybe he was hurt from previous relationships, or there’s someone in his surroundings who lives like this. Or there might be a small issue related to trust between you two that you didn’t really notice. It could also be something he has imagined in his own mind.
To be honest, sometimes these kinds of things are just a reflection of men's pre-marital 'possessiveness'. Don't push it too hard, give it some time. Maybe he doesn't have bad intentions, he's just thinking about your future. Of course, he shouldn't go overboard with it, that's a separate matter.
