I wanted to plan a getaway just the two of us this summer to make some changes, but my spouse keeps wanting to go with their family. When I ask, they say it’s 'economical,' but honestly, I’m tired of it; can’t we just have some time for ourselves? I'm dreaming of a romantic vacation; is that too luxurious of an expectation?
I think it's not just about the economy; he definitely feels more comfortable with his family. I don't know, does your spouse depend on their family in every matter? Maybe you’re not aware, but it could be a dependency issue. Honestly, it would bother me.
Let me say this, even if it is called an economic excuse, it is usually underpinned by relationship dynamics. If he wants to go with his family and is putting you in the background, a more open conversation is needed. Your individual expectation seems justified as well. Spending time alone together strengthens the bond between couples.
But now think about it this way: did you ever go together last summer or something? It might make sense from your partner's perspective. Families can serve as a reason to relax, and they might also help with the budget. It really feels to me like it’s not just a lack of romance, but sometimes you might just be feeling a little bit of longing.
Yes, you mentioned family dependence, and I think there's a reality in that. He constantly prioritizes his own family, saying things like 'everyone needs to be happy together' when talking to me. But it feels like I shouldn't have to go through this every summer. I just want something for us, for once.
I'm sorry, but there's a serious equality issue here. You have emotional labor, and what do you get in return? If the excuse is 'economic,' then two people can sit down and do the math. You don't have to be included in her family's vacation plans every summer. This isn't a request; you should speak that way.
