My spouse starts planning where we will spend the money even before it hits the account on payday. Every time, they say, 'Let's prioritize the needs at home,' but this often includes renewing items or buying luxury things. I sometimes hesitate even when buying clothes for myself. They act as if it's a gift without asking. What do you think I should do?
I've experienced something similar; my spouse was like this for a while. They would say that we directly spend the salary together, but they never considered my personal needs. When I spoke openly and said, 'I should also have my share,' they backed off a bit. Setting aside a specific amount works.
Are you receiving the same salary? What's the situation with your spouse's contribution to the budget?
@camkenari my salary is a bit higher, and his salary generally goes towards shared expenses.
I think you've romanticized it too much. The term 'joint budget' often becomes an excuse for the woman to spend at her discretion. Especially if she says 'let's change the dining room,' you can't escape luxury consumption 😳
The same conversation is going on in every title anyway; isn't anyone getting married without talking about the budget?
Earnings and expenses should be transparent within the family, but it's important to create space for personal expenses. Generally, it's recommended to set a fixed budget for each individual to allocate for themselves. If you can't agree on expenses beyond the household needs, you need to establish a joint decision-making mechanism.
I can't handle this much intervention, I would clearly say so.
@makarnaoncesi you've made a strange generalization, everyone might be planning their budget differently according to their own situation. I think that rather than romanticizing it with your partner, 'joint income' often becomes a necessity depending on social circumstances.
First of all, the rules should be clear. Now, if I tell my spouse, 'I'm setting aside this much from my salary for myself,' there will definitely be an argument.
If your spouse's salary goes entirely to shared expenses, where does their personal spending come from? Are they solely relying on your salary, or is there something else? It doesn't seem equal.
