I've been trying to control my weight lately, but I still haven't been able to get back to my old self. My ex is what comes to mind when I think about my appearance, and the more I think about him, the more motivation I lose. Is this normal? Do others feel this way too?
It didn't seem normal to me.
I was getting into the same mindset during my weight loss process as well. You shouldn't overconsume these old thoughts.
So why are you comparing yourself with your ex's image, is she the center of this?
@yazipsildim actually didn't start directly by comparing. It happened more while thinking 'is it longing or something else?'.
@kahvebitmeden but don't just stop consuming it, it comes to mind. Are you finding the solution by focusing on change?
There is something called body image distortion in psychology. Even if a partner is not connected to your past, your perception of your own body can change, and past images can overly appear 'ideal.' Seeking support wouldn't be a bad idea.
I mean, let's not call it expertise, but if you set a new goal for yourself and love it, you won't get stuck in the past as much 🙂
Do you particularly have a photo in mind of your old self? Because this job might also be connected a bit to visual memory.
I think it might be a situation of putting your ex on a pedestal a bit. The longing you speak of may be more about "the you at that moment" rather than about them. Could you reflect on yourself a little?
