I had a relationship that ended about 6 months ago. Looking back, it always feels like I was being tested. There were constant boundary-pushing questions like 'let's see you do that' and 'what would you do if I weren't around?' trying to provoke jealousy. While trying to understand my own anxiety, realizing that he was manipulating me shocked me. Do you think I'm being too sensitive or is this a toxic situation?
So when he says things like "what would you do if I weren't here," was he asking those questions during a debate, or was it more like he was joking around? Because if he's asking in the context of an argument, that really seems like manipulation.
Honestly, it seems like you're taking it a bit too personally. People sometimes test their partners as well; it doesn’t necessarily indicate bad intentions or toxicity. How did you react in those moments? That’s important too.
Such "boundary-pushing" questions are generally considered manipulation techniques. If they are constantly questioning the validity of your decisions or your loyalty, this is not a healthy relationship dynamic. You can seek psychological support and discuss past anxiety and its effects.
Let me add this: These questions or attempts to provoke jealousy were usually things that came after a fight, where we would apologize and repeat the same patterns. In other words, it's like let's forgive each other but let the same cycle happen again.
If there's an attempt to provoke jealousy like that, I think it's best to directly say, 'These behaviors have made me uncomfortable, and I don't want to see them again.' After that point, either things will improve or they will go away anyway 🥲
it’s frustrating when your ex keeps testing you. playing such games while there’s an opportunity to build trust can cause problems. you might consider staying away from this relationship.
