I've been living with my roommates for two years, but one of them has really lost it. She neither wants to clean nor contributes to the rent on time. We want to talk with the others, but would it be too harsh to just tell her to find another place? On one hand, independence from family is nice, but this is also exhausting. What would you do in my situation?
Sharing a home is truly a shared responsibility; if one person completely avoids things like cleaning and rent, then that balance is already disrupted. Address the behavior directly; instead of asking, "Why are you delaying the rent?" you could start with, "When we all pay on time, the home feels much more comfortable."
I had a friend like that too, just like you described. We talked openly and told him that if he didn't get it together in a month, he needed to start looking for a place to live. He didn't get it together, but at least we knew clearly what would happen. I think you should be open about it too.
So, doesn't a slight tension arise between you and your other friend because of this? I mean, when the workload falls on two people, you might sometimes get annoyed with each other. Will the balance between you continue?
In such situations, it's usually helpful to approach with open-ended questions. For example, saying "We've noticed that you've been having trouble paying the rent on time; is there something affecting you?" allows you to understand the reason for the situation without creating a direct sense of blame. If you involve a third person in the conversation, there might be some tension, so be cautious.
Actually, my other friend and I talked about it, and we're more in favor of the idea of him leaving the house, but it feels really hard to tell him to his face. We're thinking maybe we should do a trial first, like just make a written plan and see if it works.
The idea of a written plan is nice, but if the other party isn't interested at all, you'll end up doing it for nothing. Plus, as you stretch this out over time, the "what's going on" vibe will linger and you'll get even more worn out. I think you should gather your courage and present the plan openly.
