My roommate and I are really battling over rent. We actually divided it up according to the room sizes, but sometimes I feel like I'm being treated unfairly because my expenses are a bit higher (I mostly buy the kitchen supplies). They never say anything, as if everything is just great. What should I do? Should I be more straightforward or is it better not to blow things out of proportion?
Actually, this is a very common situation, especially if it's divided according to room size, it's normal for everyone to feel 'unfairness' at some point. For example, one of my friends used to get annoyed because he was always the one buying cleaning supplies, but they sat down and talked it out, and he felt better. I think you should just say it directly, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.
It was like that in our house too; we understand each other so well at first while settling in, but then the grocery bills start to get tangled. It's important to be open, but if you take it too lightly, the other party might brush you off. I think it's best to sit down calmly one evening and talk things through 🥲
What kind of logic is this... If you're going to act all "unfair" after having an understanding from the start, how is the other party supposed to know you're bothered? For goodness' sake, open your mouth and talk, what are you waiting for?
Don't take rental sharing to extremes in the equality/fairness debate. While equality refers to absolute sharing, fairness comes into play in the 'how much each person uses' aspect. Kitchen and other expenses are something special outside of rent because they can be shaped according to your agreement. Communication is more important than money.
Update: I guess the silent war is partly coming from me, because the other side is very relaxed. Let me add this, they only clean their own room and the shared spaces are all left to me. Naturally, these things pile up 😳
If you can't talk about this openly, then living together as roommates is already wrong from the start. There used to be no such things; everyone somehow stayed in their family's home, and then when they got married, they would have their own setup. Now everyone thinks 'this is my space' on their own. Always problems...
I had an old roommate who said, 'I already eat little, why should we split it equally?' It was so funny... You know what you'll do, you'll say, 'I'm already being silent, why should I talk?':)
There's another situation here for me. Either the guy is so relaxed that he doesn't notice, or he really thinks you're bothered by your "little things." Or maybe he doesn't care as much about being roommates as you do?
If they're not cleaning the common area and messing around with the grocery store, why aren't you saying something? I don't get it, if someone is this bothered, they should just sit down and speak up. I mean, passive-aggressive types really drive you crazy.
