My family constantly tells me that I need to get married, and this pressure bothers me. I don't feel ready; I want to travel more and live life. What should I do? How can I convince myself whether to marry or not? Do I have to feel this pressure all the time?
this pressure is normal, classic Turkish family tactic.
How old are you and why are they coming down on you so hard? I don't get it.
@kahvebitmeden I'm 27 years old, my mom is saying we want grandchildren and stuff, I'm so tired of it.
But it seems you aren't saying anything clear either, right? Do you just leave it at 'I'm not ready' or do you actually explain your intentions?
They did the same to us. After 30, they gave up for a while, but even if you don't take it seriously, you need to have a clear statement.
In such situations, families generally exert pressure by placing their own values at the center. The main issue is this: can you really communicate that you are not ready? Or do they think you can't respond?
Be clear, brother, it's your life. Why are you still living according to your family's schedule?
If you rush into an unhappy marriage, won't they pressure you to get a divorce later? Could you handle that this time, for example?
So what exactly is the reason for not being ready? Not wanting to get married is one thing, but finding your current circumstances unsuitable is another. Maybe directly saying this could reduce the pressure.
Whatever the reason for not being ready, even saying "maybe in the future" creates expectations. Just say "I'm not considering marriage" and put an end to it, will you? Clarity might relieve the pressure.
It's hard to say "I'm not thinking about marriage" directly because then the pressure of "why aren't you thinking about it?" starts. The real issue is being able to say "this isn't in my life plan" while avoiding misunderstandings. This pressure always takes on new forms from somewhere.
Maybe the issue isn't about being "ready" but about not wanting it at all. If you keep answering your family's pressure with "not right now," they will always retain the hope that "one day it will happen." Perhaps one needs to take a fundamentally opposing stance, but how does one do that?
