We’re already stressed about wedding preparations, and on top of that, families are constantly talking about the gold issue. My mom wants more jewelry, while the groom's side says 'there's no need to exaggerate.' My fiancé and I had a serious argument about this the other day. Do you think such things happen in every marriage? How can we find common ground with our families?
My daughter, unfortunately, it always goes like this. My daughter also suffered from the same issue while she was engaged. We had months of unrest because the gold issue was blown out of proportion, but then they sat down and talked, and they found a middle ground. The wedding is yours; families can only intervene to a certain extent. You and your fiancé should calm down first and make your own decision, then clearly explain this to the families.
There's something else going on here, like wedding stress and excuses. I mean, is your fiancé perhaps yielding too much to family pressure? If the groom's side is saying 'there's no need to exaggerate', is he expressing his own opinion or is he just constantly carrying his family's words? Is it really normal to have this much conflict just because of gold?
I'll speak bluntly, if the male side keeps saying things like 'what's the need to exaggerate', there is a problem with the power balance here. It's a bit strange that while your mother wanting too much is made into an issue, they don’t ask for anything or impose restrictions. It also seems like a situation that devalues your efforts. I think you should think carefully about it.
This is actually a complete budget management issue. Families act based on cultural expectations, but couples generally prioritize financial reality or their own priorities. My advice is to determine how much you can spend as a couple and what your own priorities are. When you communicate this to your families clearly, compromise is usually reached at some point. Of course, it won't be easy to resist the pressures, but make decisions with your post-wedding life in mind.
Let me add this: My fiancé is actually a really understanding person, but when it comes to his family, his backing down makes me sad. He also said to me, 'my family doesn't get hung up on things like this, yours are too insistent.' Naturally, I got angry at that moment. I literally didn't know what to do.
