I met someone new, everything is going well but it seems like they constantly have a 'cool' and indifferent attitude. I'm actually not that kind of person, so if I openly express what I think, would that be too forward? Should I play the flirting game, or should I be straight with them? Which do you think is more effective?
I was just like you said. At first, I was projecting an overly cool image, you know, like the whole 'the one who runs away gets chased' thing. But at a certain point, after playing that role so much, I started to lose touch with myself. Then I acted really genuinely in one conversation, and that helped them relax. Maybe a balance is needed sometimes 🤭
I think you should test how open you can be as you say what you really think. For example, say something like "I was really happy to see you today" and observe the reaction. You don't have to spill everything at once; start with small things.
It's like this: when you're coming back from the evening meeting, you're beating yourself up about thinking, 'I wish I had said this too.' People want to look cool, but they fear being natural. But hey, don't stress too much about it; just be yourself in the moment.
Actually, everyone plays the flirting game to some extent, even if they're not aware of it. Maybe yours isn't that exaggerated? Looking cool depending on the situation can sometimes also influence the other person. So don't think you're doing something completely wrong.
Well, actually his reactions aren't that bad. For example, he did a couple of gestures before, but I always think in my head, 'Am I being too open and that's why he's like this?' On the other hand, I'm afraid he might not get it if I'm open. It's really confusing.
What I don't understand is why dating is becoming such a big deal? Be open, of course, but also be serious. After all, if dating is going to lead somewhere, it should be serious. Otherwise, people are wasting years thinking it’s all cool and nonchalant.
Girl, I think you shouldn't try so hard to be cool; it totally shows when you're being fake. There was this guy at our school who acted all cocky and stuff, but later we found out he was actually shy. People get to know you better when you're just being yourself. 😳
So when you're in those "cool" moments, do you notice how he behaves towards you? For example, does he talk more, or is he distant? Maybe his approach to you is what causes you to maintain this attitude.
I’m sorry, but I think the problem is in your confusion. Think about it, maybe they’re also wondering, 'Why are they acting so cool, are they indifferent?' So when you’re in a position that seems to blame the other side, it’s good to reflect a little inward.
