I feel like we've been taught flirting games. Will a message be replied to hours later, will we seem indifferent, and so on. But a voice inside me says that making so much strategy is manipulative. Do you think people with this kind of 'tactic' are toxic, or are things like this normal in dating?
I had the same thing happen to me. For example, I was talking to a kid, and when I wrote that his mom was in the hospital, I immediately held back, thinking I shouldn't respond and be indifferent and all that. Then the kid said, "I made a mistake writing to you," it was like a slap in the face. This cold demeanor really backfires.
'I know someone who says, "Girls, play a little hard to get." He was at my old workplace, and he would constantly tell the girl to act cool or something. Of course, she lost the guy; he was like, "You're so cold," and just left. I think he should drop the strategy and just be honest directly.
What's with this logic? Is it cool to ignore messages? Why should we trust the sincerity of someone who acts like this? This game seriously drives you crazy.
You've mentioned some somewhat manipulative flirting tactics. In fact, in psychology, this can be associated with approaches like 'game theory' or the model of self-interested relationships. But I believe the thing that harms people the most is the loss of clarity. Unhealthy communication actually starts with these kinds of games.
Let me add this: Sometimes this tactic feels like a social norm. For instance, you fear being told "you’re so easy" by someone. But the reason we fear it is because of that social expectation.
If someone tells you to "play hard to get," it's time to stop and think. Why do women always have to strategize? Men are praised for being direct, but women are labeled as "unreachable" or "easy"? This is entirely due to inequality.
I think just be net. No need for games or anything. If you saw the message, reply; if not, don’t get into a mood for no reason. If the other side is hung up on such things, it means you're already incompatible from the start.
There are people here who defend playing 'hard to get', and you won't be taken seriously anyway. Those who play games will be left with their games. Honestly, I've never seen such a ridiculous habit in my life.
