My flirt isnât following my social media accounts. I hadnât thought about it at all, but after spending time together, I noticed. This feels strange to me; I wonder why they arenât following me? Should I bring it up to them, or should I make it a bigger deal?
Thatâs a bit weird, I would seriously ask.
So do you follow him, for example? Maybe the guy isnât into social media.
@camkenari yes, I follow her, and I even occasionally check her stories, but she doesnât seem like sheâs from around there.
@aklimkaldi why did you blow this up like this? I think it depends on what you expect from social media.
Some people may keep their dating/romantic relationships completely separate from social media. This could be a matter of privacy preference or simply not caring about it. If itâs important to you, it can be beneficial to talk about it.
I had the same thing happen to me, so I asked directly. I got a silly response like, âWeâre in a relationship, so is there really a need to follow each other on social media?â
@kahvebitmeden might actually be right, you donât necessarily have to follow each other on social media. If they value face-to-face relationships more, they might think like this.
Letâs say they donât care about social media, but why do they make it a âconsciousâ choice by not following you? If they completely ignored it, they wouldnât even check your account or think about it. Thereâs something odd about it.
Maybe theyâre trying to keep flirting just to messages and remain invisible on social media. You say that theyâre neither following nor acting interested, which seems a bit strategic to me. We need to understand whether theyâre hiding something secretly or if this is genuinely how their mindset works.
It seems like they donât want to follow you and also donât want to show that they are aware of you. This is either a ânon-commitmentâ move or they have another story on social media. Just ask them directly why they did this, so it gets clarified.
Could it be that they donât want to appear to follow you, but are secretly checking you out? If they arenât following, they wouldnât show up in interactions, for example. There are some people who like to keep a âvisible distanceâ in flirting situations. Thatâs why they might get defensive if you ask directly; try to find out casually in conversation.
You say that they might switch to defense when asked, but this shouldnât be an issue that makes someone stop following up. If they are being this sensitive, wouldnât it also cause problems in open communication while dating? Instead of confusing someone by saying âIâm keeping my distance,â wouldnât it be more logical to clearly show oneâs intentions?
Letâs look at this from another angle: If they are not following and leaving a gap there, could it be that they are keeping you in a position where they can âobserveâ you? That is, it could be something like staying âindependentâ by not following while also trying to figure you out. Am I overthinking this? Iâm not sure.
By not following, they are putting distance, but this is not a âperceived distanceâ because you notice it. The main question is: why do they want this distance? It may point to a limit in their sincerity. If they enjoy dealing with these kinds of details, their communication methods may also be challenging.
Think about it this way: how long can someone who doesnât follow you but âsecretly observesâ you keep that up? Social media is now a normal part of dating, so how would someone who plays so carefully there behave in other areas? Will they always be on edge in real life too, or is this strategic behavior only for social media?
Maybe he/she is positioning his/her relationship with social media in a completely different place? I mean, could it be that something you see as a part of dating is viewed by him/her as a completely secondary area? It might not be about âI donât want my relationship to be visible hereâ but more like âthereâs no relationship happening here anyway.â
Maybe she doesnât see the seriousness of the following issue from the same perspective as you? The meaning of social media varies for everyone. Have you tried talking to her about social media use in general, without mentioning the following? Perhaps you can pick up a hint from there.
There are two possibilities here: Either he âdoesnât want to show youâ on social media, or your presence there isnât that important to him. Both are different ways of thinking, and to understand which situation applies, you need to really figure out his social media habits first. Look at his behaviors outside of following; are there other clues?
Maybe theyâre trying to keep themselves separate from the flirting dynamic by not following along. In other words, that could be a relationship-free, completely individual space for them. But if this puts you in the background, it can turn into a âpriorityâ issue. I suggest looking at how they demonstrate this priority in other areas.