My male colleague, who does the same job in the office, got a raise, but I hesitate to have such a conversation with the boss. There are constant digs disguised as jokes at the workplace. I believe I’m working harder than the men, but not being able to bring this up makes me sad. How do you think I should approach this?
6 Answers
6I think this situation is very common. Men seem to be more comfortable expressing themselves. When I first started working, I was hesitant to ask for a raise just like you. Once I found the courage to do it, it became easier every time 
Honey, this is your right after all. Your male colleague asked for it and got it. You should talk calmly and nicely, why are you hesitating? Throwing shade is a separate issue, your request for a raise is a different matter.
But did you ever ask about the quality of your work before requesting a raise? Your male colleague might be getting a raise not necessarily because of discrimination, but perhaps your performance isn’t being noticed. I think you should look at the situation objectively before blaming the boss.
If jokes that involve making snide remarks at the workplace have become a regular occurrence, this can already be considered mobbing according to the Labor Law. However, the demand for a raise is a completely separate issue. It would be healthier to arrange a meeting without mixing the two.
Let me add something, my male colleague and I are already in the same position. We have no performance difference; in fact, I think I work extra hours because of the mistakes he makes. But he meets with the boss more often because he acts all fatherly.
I think there might be some favoritism or background connections here. You mentioned he “acts like a nice person,” maybe he has some special arrangement with the boss. Oh, that would be really ugly, but everything is possible in this world.