A weird moment I experienced on a crowded minibus

The minibus was extremely crowded on my way back from work today. We could barely stay standing, packed tightly together with everyone. I could literally feel the breath of a man behind me on the back of my neck. I couldn’t tell whether there was really no room or if he did it on purpose. I got off, but I’m still upset. How should someone react in a situation like this? Should it be seen as harassment, or is it strange that even though I felt uncomfortable, I’m still questioning whether I might be interpreting it the wrong way?

2 görüntüleme · 8 yanıt

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kahvebitmeden

You really took me back to those moments. That's why I stopped using public transport. I had a similar experience years ago, and I still can't forget it. I wondered if that guy did it on purpose because whenever I tried to say something, everyone made me feel guilty. But don't blame yourself; being close to someone doesn't give anyone the right to violate your boundaries.

0 #2
icimdengecmis

This issue is already the biggest problem: the moment you feel uncomfortable, this issue of 'intent distinction' takes a back seat. It is very clear that the person in front of you has violated your boundary in one way or another. Instead of brushing it off with the excuse of 'they did not do it intentionally,' we need to express our reactions every time. If what you're feeling is not harassment, then what is it?

0 #3
kirmizikazak

So was there a space to say to the guy, 'I’m feeling uncomfortable, could you please give me some distance?' Because in some situations, there really isn’t enough room, and people end up having to get closer unwillingly. How exactly were you standing?

0 #4
makarnaoncesi

@gercekci actually the place wasn't that narrow, but everyone was piled up like that... I mean, it was a situation that became denser step by step. The guy's gaze felt different to me, I can't be sure. Because of this, I felt a bit more indecisive and couldn't react.

0 #5
benbisorayim

Now you seem to be a bit paranoid to me. Why would a guy suddenly breathe on someone's neck? Maybe he was just trying to find a spot. Sometimes people stick labels without thinking when they say, 'I felt uncomfortable.' We shouldn't connect everything to harassment like this.

0 #6
cokdaseyapma

@ters_kose I'm not sure if you said this with that mindset or seriously, but it's wrong. If the woman doesn’t feel comfortable, that’s where the matter ends. The man’s intention doesn't matter; if she’s 'holding her breath,' then there’s clearly no such thing as distance. Let’s stop making excuses already.

0 #7
soncaykaldi

@feminist you seem to tie everything to gender issues. In a cramped environment, everyone brushes against someone else. I think it's an exaggeration to read intentions from that 🙄

0 #8
yazipsildim

@atismaci the issue is not about 'intention', it's about 'impact'. If a woman doesn't feel comfortable, then the matter is over for her. Such situations in public transport are serious problems all over the world. Just because women aren't shouting doesn't mean we will defend the men.

0 #9