Does my mother-in-law not love me at all?

Have you ever had someone constantly remind you of a kindness or help they did for you? Like saying something such as, "What would you have done if it weren't for us?" making that kindness feel like a burden. It's not kindness, it's more like a debt.

Has there ever been a situation where your spouse was expected to defend you but instead criticized you? For example, in a problem occurring with someone from the outside, when they were supposed to take your side, they ended up saying, "But you did this too," and made you look unjustified. Or is it just happening in my house? I'm curious.

Have you ever felt that your child indirectly blamed you when you made a decision about them? For example, saying, "Our son used to be more outgoing; I wonder if some of the things now are affecting him?" implying criticism of your parenting while also shifting the responsibility onto you.

Have you ever had someone try to make a point by saying "I told you so" when you did something based on your own decisions, even if you didn't like the outcome? It feels like they're acting as if they were right from the start and you were just being stubborn. It's really annoying.

Have you ever had a situation where you needed to resolve a disagreement with your partner privately, but instead, they brought it up in front of everyone? For example, if at a crowded table they throw out a comment like "You went overboard with the shopping again the other day," trying to embarrass you and justify themselves, then the intent is questionable. Why isn't it discussed when you're alone?

Have you ever been left in a two-faced situation where someone behaves differently in their social circle than they do with you? For example, if they appear very sweet and helpful around their friends but turn into someone who criticizes you in private, that's a different kind of game. What's the aim? Those who understand, come on in.

Has there ever been something said in front of others that didn’t directly involve you but made you uncomfortable, indirectly putting you down? Like saying something such as, "Our bride can’t take her eyes off her phone, but whatever, we’ve gotten used to it." If someone does this in front of everyone, it could be quite calculated.

Have there been times when someone acted like they weren't talking about you directly but made veiled remarks that targeted you? For example, something like "Some people forget their own family after they get married." It wouldn’t be directed at you, but it would feel strange if you didn’t take it personally. I think these indirect attacks are more annoying.

Has there ever been a time when they belittled your ideas? Like when you say something about a topic, and they act as if to say, "You don’t know, let us handle it." They listen to you as if it's just meaningless chatter. This can be really off-putting.

Has anyone here ever acted like there’s nothing serious going on when there’s an issue with your spouse, only to complain about you to someone else behind your back? Like smiling in your face and talking behind your back. That’s when it completely breaks trust.

Have you ever been blamed for something you didn't do just because someone didn't like it? For example, when an issue arises with your spouse, and they say, "It happened because you acted this way," completely ignoring the part of the problem that involves them or your child, and placing the blame on you? This blame reflex can be very exhausting.

Has anyone ever exaggerated your reactions when telling others about them? For example, you might have expressed your opinion on something in a normal way, but then they go and create a story like, "Our bride gets angry right away, she totally flipped out." Is this managing perception, or is it an effort to justify themselves?

Has your partner ever tried to put you in a position to choose between them and someone else? For example, saying manipulative things like "I don’t want to be caught between you and my mother, but if this goes on, you’ll have to choose" during an argument, trying to make you look bad. Because conversations like this smell of serious games.

Have you ever been bothered by jokes that start off sounding completely harmless? For example, things like "Ours has learned to cook, but let's see if he/she can do it as well as his/her mother!" — comments that seem innocent but also carry a veiled challenge. Is it just a joke, or is there another message behind it?

Have you ever felt like your words or requests are dismissed, but when someone else says or does the same thing, it's immediately accepted? For example, you suggest something, and they say, "No, that won't work"; then, when someone else says the same thing, they go, "Oh, actually, that makes sense." This could be to make you feel worthless.

Has your partner ever directly said something about you when you're not around? For example, saying that you're negatively affecting them, that you’re being overbearing, or that they can’t adjust to the marriage. Because those who lack the courage to say it face to face and instead use their partner as a shield are dangerous.

Have you ever had someone put you in a bad light to make themselves look good in front of others? For example, at a family gathering, using a passive-aggressive tone and blame-shifting language like, "We invited the daughter-in-law, but she didn't want to come; it's her choice, of course," to undermine your reputation in front of others. I always feel that such moves come with an agenda.

Have you ever encountered someone who later denied a decision they made or something they said? For example, they might have given approval on an issue, but later say, "I didn't say that, you misunderstood me." This is problematic in terms of both trust and boundaries.

Have you ever experienced someone creating a double standard by praising you in private but constantly criticizing you in front of others? For example, they might say to others, "He's such a good person, he's supportive of my partner," but then to you, they continually try to find faults, saying things like, "You can't even do this right." It's like playing to the outside while exerting pressure internally.

Have you ever been compared to someone continuously? But not directly, more subtly. For example, comments like "Ahmet's wife is so skilled, mashallah she keeps up with everything" send indirect messages. This usually comes wrapped in kindness as a form of belittlement.

Have you ever felt like the kids were trying to influence you? For example, remarks like "It would be nice to take our kids out too, but of course, if Meltem knows, she won't want to" can be made to make you look bad. They can try to manipulate indirectly through the kids like that.

Has anyone ever pretended to praise you, like your spouse or someone else, while actually trying to create competition? For example, a compliment like "Asya is very successful, mashallah, but in our time, things were like this" seems to embed their own era or themselves in the praise, trying to establish superiority. These kinds of sentences seem to appear as if they are complimenting while constantly carrying an "but" underneath.

Have you ever been completely ignored and they just communicate directly with the kids? For example, instead of saying "I don't know if your mom will let you," they might say something like "Come on, we can do it, your mom will find out later." Sometimes it feels like an attempt to bypass you.

Has there ever been a time when they belittled what you said? For example, you're expressing your opinion on a serious matter, and they brush it off with a mocking attitude like, "That won't work; you wouldn't understand." In other words, if they take your words lightly, their mindset is pretty clear.

Have you ever pointed out a mistake he made and he just brushed it off with a defense like "I don’t interfere with you at all, so don’t interfere with me"? If you can't even discuss the mistakes made next to you, the communication will always remain superficial. This isn’t a real relationship.

Has anyone ever said something passive-aggressive, not just in passing but directly targeting you? For example, something like "Some people really take the easy way out; not everyone can do every job" that is completely aimed at you without directly mentioning your name. I think this is one of the clearest signs of a lack of love.

Have you ever done something to please him, only for him to either completely ignore it or start looking for faults, saying, "It would have been better if you had done it this way instead?" Sometimes, it creates a feeling that satisfaction is completely impossible.

Have you ever heard people talking condescendingly about you in the presence of others when you're not around? If you've heard things like "They actually married someone like that" said behind your back, I think it doesn't mean they don't love you, but it clearly shows they have no respect for you.

Have you ever had someone speak to your partner or children in an overly intimate way, excluding you? For example, you are present in the room, but they are trying to establish a special bond with your partner or kids as if you weren’t there. Feeling excluded can sometimes be the clearest sign.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone makes decisions or gives opinions for you? For example, when they say, "We do it this way" without you saying anything. If it has become normal for them to speak on your behalf, they may not see you as an individual.

Have you ever noticed your partner talking about you as if they were complaining? For instance, if they try to create a common front by saying something like "He/she always does that" when you are not around, that’s a pretty conscious move. They are isolating you while justifying themselves.

Does your partner ever act like they're openly arguing with you, but are actually targeting you? I mean, when there's a topic being discussed between you two, and they make a remark that seems directed at your partner, but is actually sending you an indirect message, it feels a bit manipulative. It messes up the atmosphere and puts pressure on you.

Have your children ever tried to misrepresent you in front of others? For example, if you've said something about a subject and they do the exact opposite while saying, "This way is better," undermining your authority can be a very dangerous move.

Have you ever felt like someone was constantly comparing you? Like examples that imply inadequacy, such as "In our time, it was like this" or "So-and-so is doing this," are being thrown around? This can create pressure and attempt to put you into a mold. It's very subtly draining.

Have you ever been frequently compared to someone else by your spouse's family? Like their sister, cousin, or another relative… This kind of comparison drags you down and allows them to step back by saying, "I didn't say anything" since it's not directed at you. I think it's one of the most passive-aggressive methods.

Have you ever had someone act as if they've done something they haven't, and then started a debate over it? For instance, if they twist a topic by saying, "You said it like that," and sidetrack away from the actual issue, putting you in a defensive position. This kind of manipulation can be very exhausting.

Have you ever felt like someone was acting as if they were taking on responsibilities that weren’t theirs, making you feel indebted? For instance, doing something for you that you were supposed to do, then throwing it back in your face while expecting a thank you or some gratitude. Sometimes what looks like help can actually be a way to take control.

Do they constantly make jabs at you under the guise of "joking"? For example, if they say something belittling with a slight smile in front of everyone, and when you react, they say, "I was just joking, don't take it personally," to brush it off. This is also a passive-aggressive approach and keeps you on edge.

Have you ever acted like someone who doesn't really know what they want, but complains about everything? For example, if you do something, they say, "Why did you do it like that?" and if you don't do anything, they criticize you by saying, "You're not doing anything at all." This uncertainty could be a separate tactic as well. No matter what you do, they always find a flaw.

Have you ever had someone question your family relationships and subtly try to make you feel "inadequate"? For instance, if they ask something about your mother, father, or sibling and make comments like "In our family, we don't do that," elevating their own dynamic while belittling yours, this could be a way of putting distance between you. Sometimes, they act as if your family structure isn't up to their level.

So, does your spouse ever make snide remarks to you, and does he normalize it? For example, saying something like, "You’re weak on those issues, aren’t you, son?" If there’s an effort to form a united front, it’s important to pay attention to your spouse’s attitude, as this issue cannot be resolved by just one person.

Have you ever felt like a "guest in the house" whether intentionally or unintentionally? For example, acting on home matters or decisions without

Have you ever had someone invade your personal space and yet presented it as if it were a kindness? For example, thinking they need to intervene in an issue between you and your spouse, and then arguing, "I'm doing this for your own good"? Sometimes boundaries are violated under the pretext of helping, but the real issue is the display of power.

Have you ever had someone belittle something you enjoy and brush it off as just a "matter of taste"? For example, making a condescending remark about your hobbies, your style, or your friends, and then closing the conversation with, "That's just my opinion." This could also be a subtle way of sending the message, "you're making the wrong choices."

Has your partner ever pretended to defend you while actually making you look worse? For example, saying something like, "They're a bit sensitive too, right?" which labels you while acting as if they're defending you. This is a subtly destructive method, so be careful.

Have you ever had someone compare you to something they did, sending a message like "look how perfect I am" in a way that overshadowed your efforts? For instance, belittling something you did by saying, "In our time, it would have been like this" or leaving it incomplete. This kind of attempt to establish superiority is quite common.

Have you ever been indirectly compared to someone in your spouse's family? For example, comments like "How does your brother's wife manage to handle everything, mashallah" trying to subtly make you feel inadequate. Sometimes these comparisons are more insidious; they may not feel like direct accusations but they can be unsettling.

Have there ever been any subtle, teasing comments about your parenting style? For example, something like "In our time, children weren't spoiled like this." This could also imply indirectly that "you aren't doing it right."

Have you ever said things to your partner like "you should pay more attention to your mother," indirectly making yourself look like the victim? It’s like trying to create an atmosphere where it seems like you blame your partner for not getting along with them. Sometimes, under the guise of "reconciling you two," they can pressure your partner.

Has anyone ever criticized you indirectly by using another topic as an excuse instead of addressing the issue directly? For example, saying, "housework is making me very tired" as a way to imply that you've left something undone. Sometimes people play the victim card to hide their criticism.

Have you ever had someone send you a message using a third person without saying anything directly to you? For instance, talking to their own cousin as if they were complaining about you, and then that cousin comes to you and implies something. Manipulating people through indirect means is very common.

Have you ever had someone interrupt you while you're trying to tell a story, diverting their attention elsewhere? For instance, while you're right in the middle of recounting an event, they might say something completely unrelated like, "Has the sugar run low?", making you feel as if they're not really listening. Sometimes the feeling of being ignored can come from this too.

Have you ever had someone overshadow your success or joy by bringing up their own memories? For example, you've achieved something, you're sharing it, and they start with "Oh, when I was young..." and suddenly turn the story into their own heroics. This can unintentionally be discouraging.

Have you ever had someone throw a hint at your partner or someone else in your presence? Like saying something vague such as "Some people should be a bit more thoughtful," making you wonder if it was directed at you. Sometimes they're not an obvious target, but they can disturb you through implication.

Have you ever been made to feel like a hassle in a gathering or crowded environment, being occupied with tedious tasks and treated completely like the host? For example, filling the tea, collecting the plates, and so on. This can sometimes turn into a complete power game, sending a message like "you are a servant who belongs here."

Has there ever been a time when your partner kept making small complaints about you in your spouse's presence? For example, trying to embarrass you by saying something like "Maybe you could pay a little more attention." It's not direct, but trying to exert pressure through the partner is also quite commonly used.

Have you ever had someone act like you've done something you didn't? For example, saying "You did this like this last time" and describing a mistake that didn't actually happen. Sometimes they like to play with the truth, just to get you to question it.

Have you ever been compared to others? For example, when someone praises another person, saying something like, "Ahmet's wife is so capable and organized," to make you feel inferior. This is actually a passive-aggressive method. Comparison is always insidious.

Has anyone ever criticized you directly to your face without implying anything? For instance, saying something like, "you never do it this way" or "you're a bit weak on this topic" and leaving you defenseless. Not passive-aggressive, but situations that feel more like an attack.

Have you ever found yourself in an awkward position regarding gifts? For instance, you buy something and the person has an expression of dissatisfaction or gestures in a way that says, "You didn't have to do that." It's important not to expect anything in return, but it still makes you feel sad.

Have they ever tried to be the center of attention by constantly using illness or fatigue as an excuse? For example, you’re telling a story, and suddenly they say something like, "I think I’m feeling dizzy, my blood pressure might be up," to shift the focus back to themselves. This is actually a form of passive manipulation.

Have you ever felt overshadowed by a special memory or achievement? Like on your birthday, graduation, or some other important moment, when something happens that draws attention away from you. It's as if it wasn't your day, but rather a show for someone else.

Has anyone ever pretended to misunderstand you on purpose? For example, you might be saying something totally well-meaning, but they respond with "Are you throwing shade at me?" or "Did you just say that to me?" and try to make you look guilty in front of others. It sometimes feels like sabotaging communication.

Have you ever talked to your spouse with an overly sweet demeanor in front of them, only to become completely cold or distant when you're alone? It's like switching between two different characters, as if you were acting. This is one of the most exhausting things for a person.

Have you ever had someone try to pull you into an inappropriate familiarity by constantly saying, "I’m like your mother"? You know, to legitimize invading your private life. And when they say that, you can't really say anything, can you? It's so sneaky.

Have you ever had the experience where your partner acted like they were sharing something special with you? For example, bringing up a topic you discussed privately, knowing all the details, and putting you in a difficult position. It creates distrust, and people become unsure of who they can share what with.

Have you ever had someone say to you, "You’re not our bride, you’re our daughter," and then made you feel like an outsider over the smallest issue? You know, they say something nice, but their behavior doesn’t match at all. This hypocrisy really confuses a person.

Has your partner ever tried to discipline you through them? For example, dropping hints like "Our son didn’t used to do this" or "How differently he behaves now". They may not dare to say it directly to you, but you get the message.

Have you ever had someone act like they're helping you but actually make things harder for you? Like saying "I'll take care of it" and then leaving it half done or making mistakes that force you to start over. It's like not doing a good deed but secretly sabotaging you.

Have they ever tried to put you under vague pressure by saying things like "In our time...", "In our traditions..."? No matter what you do, it feels like it's either not in line with the past or is being misunderstood. I find it both abstract and boring as a tactic.

Have you ever sensed that someone seems to be jealous of you? Not openly, but subtly. For example, praising something of yours and then immediately talking about how it was better during their time. It's hard to tell if they admire you or see you as a rival.

Have you ever felt like someone was supporting your opinion or decision, but then later turned around and implied the exact opposite? You know, where they say to your face, "You're right," but then tell others, "I don't think so." Trust becomes difficult.

Have you ever not asked for advice from someone explicitly, only for them to later say something like, "You said so," tying it to your opinion? It feels like they are shifting all the responsibility onto you, but you had no idea.

Has anyone ever blown a small mistake out of proportion and treated it as if it were a matter related to your character? Like when you’re late once, and they say, "You’re always like this." It’s not a direct attack, but rather a constant effort to undermine you.

Have you ever had someone act like "You're a guest, not the bride," and then expect you to feel at home? They set boundaries and have expectations at the same time, making you feel like whatever you do is wrong.

Has your partner ever spoken to you in a way that seemed dismissive? You know, with a mocking tone like "You wouldn't understand" or "You don't get it." It feels like a mix of trying to appear sweet to them while also seizing the chance to put you down.

Has he ever insinuated that you're making an expensive or unnecessary spending decision? As if he cares about the budget, but in reality, he's dismissive of your preferences. He questions you while also devaluing your tastes.

Have there been times when instead of criticizing you about something like this, your partner has tried to guide you in their own way and change your decisions through them? It seems like they are intervening indirectly rather than directly addressing you. It's not clear who the real player is.

Has anyone ever bought you a gift and then gone on and on about the sacrifices they made while choosing it or the difficulties they faced at the time? It feels like the gift isn't a gesture but rather a debt. It leaves you with a feeling of, "They got this for me, but look at how much they struggled, don’t forget that."

Have you ever had someone praise you in front of a lot of people but then add a little jab at the end of the compliment? For example, "The food is great, but the salad wasn't that good." They erase the nice part with "but," making you question the rest.

Have you ever had someone leave all their tasks to you, saying "You can handle it, you can do anything" with exaggerated trust, only to later express their dissatisfaction to others? It might seem like they trust you, but there could be a hidden complaint going on behind the scenes.

Have they ever tried to learn from you without you noticing? You know, asking questions, seeking opinions, and then presenting that information as if they've discovered it on their own. It feels like they’re trying to shine by denying your contribution.

Have you ever had someone act like they're listening to you on a topic, only to do what they want anyway? They start by asking for advice but then say, "Still, I'm going to do it this way," rendering your opinion immediately invalid, for example. It's like they’re just pretending to listen.

Has anyone ever openly disagreed with one of your decisions or opinions without actually saying it, leaving room for others to misunderstand or criticize you? For example, by describing a situation incompletely or differently to put you in a difficult position in the eyes of others. There is no open conflict, but things are getting complicated underneath.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone, while being next to you, recounted a kindness they did for someone else in a way that implied "nobody appreciates me"? It feels like they're sending subtle messages while making you uncomfortable in that moment. It's a passive-aggressive cycle.

Have you ever felt like your mom hinted at how you are as a parent? For example, saying things like, "Kids weren't like this in our time," making you feel like you're doing some things fundamentally wrong. It could be that this indirect criticism is challenging your self-confidence.

Have you ever heard someone start with "If I were you..." and then make you feel worse with some ridiculous example? They pretend to give advice, but when you look closely, what they say is either impossible or condescending.

Has anyone ever taken credit for your success? For example, someone tells a story about something you did and tries to present it as a collective effort by saying, "We did it this way." In trying to share the praise, they might make you a bit invisible.

Have you ever had a moment when you were genuinely happy about something, only for someone to ruin that joy with a negative comment or by bringing up an unrelated problem? You know, like throwing in unnecessary remarks just to mess up the vibe. It can really spoil those enjoyable moments.

Have you ever had someone try to portray you as helpless by telling another person about a problem you’re facing or a tough situation? You know, they don't confront you directly but instead make you look weak by gossiping about you to others. If you feel that kind of behavior, I think it could indicate a deeper intention.

Have you ever done something special for someone, like a birthday celebration or a gift, and then they didn’t say anything about it? It's as if it never happened; there's no thank you or even a mention. It's like they’re ignoring it.

Have you ever found yourself in an emotional moment or a sensitive issue, where someone engaged in a meaningless competition just to come out on top? Like trying to belittle you by saying, "I've been through harder things, yours is nothing." I don't understand what someone feels to speak like that in such moments.

Have you ever had someone make a joke that would belittle or humiliate you while others are around? You know, it's passed off as a joke, but it seems like there's an intention to target you a little bit. In that moment, you're smiling, but deep down it bothers you.

Have you ever had your spouse talk about you in a way that makes you seem indecisive or inadequate? They might be trying to belittle you in front of your partner with things like "You wouldn't understand" or "Merve can't do it anyway." I think your spouse's reaction is key here.

Has anyone ever done something that felt like they were putting you on trial? Like constantly questioning your decision or choice with "Why did you do it that way?" Ultimately, it feels like no matter what you do, they won't be satisfied.

Have you ever had someone try to make it seem like what you're saying or your preferences are influenced by someone else? For example, when you express your own opinion, and they say, "Oh, are you doing that by asking them or something?" It's as if they're trying to create the perception that you're not a free-thinking individual.

Has your partner ever insinuated something that specifically blames you regarding their job or responsibilities? For instance, has there been a case where they might say, "If you had done it this way, it wouldn't have happened," suggesting indirectly that you are the cause of that negative situation? This passive-aggressiveness could also be a tactic.

Has anyone ever said something that belittled or devalued your achievements? For example, you share a work success, and you get a comment like, "Well, you studied that much after all." It's as if instead of being proud, they're subtly pulling you down.

Has there ever been a moment when your spouse intentionally excluded you while sharing childhood memories? You know, like saying, "We used to do this, we used to have fun like that," as if you were never a part of that family. Leaving you out of the story feels like a cold message.

Have you ever been deliberately left out of the loop on something? For example, there's a plan being made in the family, but you're only told about it late or not at all. It gets brushed off with something like "Oh, we forgot," but it doesn't really seem like it was forgotten.