Just yesterday, we confirmed a pregnancy news, and my wife and I talked about not telling anyone. But my mother-in-law couldn't help herself, and almost all of our relatives have learned. I wanted to share such a special thing myself. My wife says, 'Don't stress about these things,' but I literally can't sleep from anger. What do you think I should do, or am I overreacting?
I experienced the same thing. I mean, my spouse's family constantly spreads our private matters, saying "we shared this out of joy." At first, I was having panic attacks, but then I realized that is just their nature. I would say sit down and talk directly with your mother-in-law, tell her, "I want to share such things myself," and be clear.
So, does your spouse do this all the time? Has something like this happened before? Because if this isn't the first time, there may be a more serious issue.
@aycan25 actually not the first time. Before, my spouse changing jobs had been announced to almost everyone, and then people asked us about it. But this pregnancy, being something so special, felt more frustrating.
@elifak aren't you being a bit dramatic? I mean, after all, the woman is expecting a grandchild, of course she can share her joy. We don't hide these things within the family, and no one finds it strange for them to be magnified. Maybe you've been a bit too sensitive.
It is important to understand both sides' perspectives here. Sharing a private situation is the parents' right, but taking that right away from others can be a violation of individual boundaries. I think this is not an "intention" issue, but rather a "communication" problem. Sit down directly with your mother-in-law and simply express your sensitivities. Say, "You could have expected us to share this"; be constructive instead of argumentative.
I think you're making a big deal out of it. They just shared the main line. There's no need for all this trouble.
@asiyekaplan but the issue here is not sharing within the family; all relatives have heard. Everyone may have different boundaries. Ultimately, they have that right, especially if not everyone lives in the same house.
