My girlfriend is quite popular on social media, and she constantly receives flirty comments on her posts. Honestly, she doesnât seem to be bothered by it, but sometimes I feel quite uneasy. Should I bring it up and talk about it, or am I overreacting? How far do you think is normal to allow this?
8 Answers
8My boyfriend gets pretty jealous about these things too. But once there was a guy who direct messaged my friends; I thought I would tell his girlfriend about it and block him, but he got angry and started a fight. Now I just delete the comments and donât bother.
Iâve experienced a similar situation, let me tell you the same. My girlfriend was constantly receiving welcome DMs. I thought, usually there shouldnât be any insecurity, so I didnât say anything. But when someone kept insisting on messaging, I couldnât take it anymore and talked to her. She said, âIâm not doing anything.â If you feel uncomfortable, I think you need to speak up, otherwise it just gets bigger.
Actually, expressing your discomfort can be healthy for the relationship. Because if it stays inside, the unease may erupt in some other way. But try to do this not in a blaming or controlling tone, but in a way that shares your feelings completely. Then it might be more constructive.
But I think you are also exaggerating a bit. After all, those who are making those comments are not in her life, you are. If you keep expressing that you are uncomfortable, you might make her feel restricted. Do you have any basis for thinking that accepting flirty comments is okay?
Let me update you, I actually didnât directly tell him that I was bothered, but I hinted a couple of times that I was stuck on the comments. He had an attitude like âeverything is fine,â but I donât know, sometimes it feels like Iâm just talking to myself. But when there are so many people insisting, wouldnât it be bad if he defended me?
So, did this situation just start, or has it always been like this? Because if your girlfriend is already popular, she might be used to comments like this, but if youâve only just noticed it, then your reactions might be different, I think. Have you ever talked about how she behaved in the past? 
Yeah, social media has really become a place where everyone is leaning on each other since the agenda hit. Your girlfriend might be trying to look cool, so maybe sheâs not reacting, but I think itâs weird not to feel uncomfortable. At least if you could say, âthese are my boundariesâ and explain what you think, that would be good.
Reading the comments like that can really hit a nerve, I totally get it. But maybe if you try to see it from their perspective, it might ease things up a bit. Because if they say âthis doesnât concern meâ, they might not be feeling like they constantly have to âdefend themselvesâ. Maybe talking it out would make everyone feel more at ease?