My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

If she doesn't want it, you need to ask clearly what she dislikes about her fiancé; saying "I'm not warming up to him" is not enough. Is it a trait, his past, or his family that bothers her? Maybe she knows something but isn't expressing it. Talking in such vague terms creates confusion.

It's clear that the mother doesn't want the fiancé, but the issue is how the fiancé is reacting to these responses. Do you know what he's discussing with your brother? Is he trying to calm things down, or is he in full "we'll handle it" mode? Sometimes their silence makes things even more tense.

Is there a possibility that the mother's disapproval of the fiancé stems from a political, religious, or cultural reason? Sometimes people don't express this, but they may feel uncomfortable inside. If such a thing exists, it won't be resolved unless it is openly stated.

If she's not giving a clear reason related to her fiancé, maybe the issue is entirely about your sibling. Could she have formed an overly dependent bond with him? Sometimes, the main concern is not the person themselves but the inability to accept the change because things at home will be disrupted. Have you tried having a conversation with your mother from your perspective about this?

Could there be an intuitive sense of a "mistake" behind the mother's reaction to this relationship? In other words, it seems like she might have something she knows but can't articulate. Have you tried talking to her about this emotional intensity, rather than just asking "why don't you want it?" Sometimes people can be more open when expressing their feelings.

Could there have been an incident that made Annene say, "I don't want the fiancé"? You know, something very direct that she's been hiding from you? Or is this just a feeling, a prejudice? Was it positive at first, for example, and did her attitude change later? That's something to think about too. 🫢

Could the reason for the mother taking such a clear stance against the fiancé be the influence of someone else? For instance, could a family member or someone from the outside have said something to her about the fiancé? Sometimes people act as if it’s their own opinion, but in reality, there is indirect manipulation involved.

So do you know who else your mom has shared this reaction towards the fiancé with? For example, does she speak with the same clarity outside, or is this just something that happens at home? Maybe she shows a different face outside; it might be worth checking.

Your mom doesn't want the other fiancé, but how does your sibling handle this situation? Does your mom's attitude make her back off, or is she quietly going on in a "I know better" mode? Sometimes it's necessary to weigh the attitudes of both sides rather than just picking a side.

Maybe the issue isn't that they don't want the fiancé, but how you managed the engagement? If your mother was sidelined throughout the process or her opinion was never asked, her reaction might be more symbolic than personal. Could the hostility be directed at the process rather than the fiancé? 🙃

Could the mother's past experiences trigger this attitude? Like a disappointment or trauma she faced in her own youth or marriage. Sometimes people project their own experiences onto others without realizing it. Have you tried talking to her to understand this perspective?

He doesn't want his other fiancé, fair enough, but is he doing anything concrete to break off the engagement? Or is he just stating his opinion and stopping there? The level of his reaction is important here— is it a passive discomfort or is there an active intervention? 🤭

She doesn't want her future daughter-in-law, but could it be that she has some discomfort towards the fiancé's family? I mean, could it be more about culture, tradition, or family incompatibility than the person themselves? For example, some mothers focus more on the family than on the groom.

Could there be a sense of "loss of control" in the mother's attitude? In other words, has she been uncomfortable just because her sibling is making their own decisions now, despite having had a strong voice in the family throughout her life? Her reluctance may stem more from an inability to accept the questioning of her own authority rather than the engagement itself.

I wonder if she's thinking about how things will go at home after the wedding? Could there be a concern like "once the girl leaves, it's all on me, no one thinks of my support"? Sometimes what people say they don't want actually stems from another fear. They might not be able to express this openly.

Maybe your mother's reluctance is related to what she is saying "yes" to. She doesn't want the fiancé, but is she offering another alternative? Or is it just a complete rejection? It feels like an objection that is left hanging.

Could the reason the mother does not want it be the fiancé's personality or family, but rather their economic situation? There might be a concern of "will this marriage work as a business" in some way. You didn't touch on these kinds of details at all; what are your criteria?

I think there might also be some concern about what the environment thinks. It feels like there’s not a specific flaw concerning the fiancé, but more of a worry like, "Will others find this marriage appropriate?" Maybe they have had a different idea of the ideal groom in mind from the beginning 🙂

Is it due to something they heard or know from the past of your fiancée or their family? You know, maybe gossip, an incident, an old issue… Sometimes what mothers hear becomes the underlying reasons they don’t directly mention. Are they not going into detail on this matter?

Sometimes mothers project their unwanted feelings directly onto their daughters' partners, but in reality, they can’t digest the idea of their daughters transitioning into independent lives. So it's not about the individual; it’s entirely about the pains of "growing up." Have you tried to discuss this in a separate conversation with your sibling? Is there a fear your mother has regarding the changing dynamics?

Your brother has chosen his fiancée, but if there is tension in the relationship due to your mother's disapproval, wouldn't that reflect on the upcoming marriage? I mean, if the engagement takes place without resolving this issue, it seems like there could be bigger family problems later on. Your mother's opposition without stating a clear reason could lead to even bigger confrontations down the line, right?

Does your fiancé know about this situation? If she has sensed or heard that your mother clearly doesn't want it, what was her reaction? Because if the fiancé's side gets involved, the issue may become more complex. If there is already tension between the two families, it will be hard to resolve.

If your mother is saying she doesn't want it, there may also be some tension on the fiancé's side; did their family feel this situation at all? It seems like it’s only being discussed internally, but if there's a vibe leaking out, this could turn into a mutual issue. It would be good to clarify how your sibling will handle this tension without getting caught between your mother and the fiancé's family.

Could there be a personal issue behind the mother's resistance? For instance, an event from the past involving her fiancé or family that you are unaware of? If that's the case, the resolution process may need to be planned differently. In other words, if the issue is more of a personal annoyance than a relational one, this will change the course of things.

If she says she's openly against it, I think we should sit at the same table and have a clear conversation. Is there really a specific issue with your brother's fiancée and her family, or is it just a general feeling of not wanting it? As long as this stays vague, it seems like everyone is just making up their own reasons.

If a mother isn't directly saying why she doesn't want this job, perhaps she is waiting for someone's approval. Is it possible that if a family elder or a relative comes and says, "this will work," she might be convinced? Some mothers act with such support instead of making decisions on their own.

Could it be that Annen promised someone something in the past? In such situations, an old friendship, debt, or favor comes into play, and you might not understand. It's best to ask directly whether there is some lingering burden from the past.

If she still doesn't mention the reason for her refusal, it seems to me that it's not directly about the fiancé. Maybe she has gotten used to controlling her brother's life in general and now feels like she's losing grip. But linking this to the fiancé or marriage could make the situation more dramatic; have you ever talked about this possibility?

Maybe your mother just doesn’t want it because it’s not "her choice." Some parents resist simply because they can't control the major decisions in their children's lives. Is there a specific problem related to your fiancé, or have you figured that out?

So, is your mother saying anything about the process after the engagement? For example, about the wedding, life after marriage, or the grandkids issue? Maybe she has some concerns in her mind, but she's expressing them through the engagement.

Maybe your mother has built up the family of your fiancée in her mind. She might be thinking, "they're not suitable for us." If she feels a status difference, she might be reacting by just saying she doesn't want this without expressing her feelings. Try to gauge the opinions of relatives a bit to see if your mother has any concerns about gossip regarding this relationship.

Is your sister opposing directly or from a distance during this process, or is it just towards the fiancé? Because generally, the reason for wanting to refuse might be more of a resistance to the child's decision and independence rather than the fiancé. Focus a bit on the relationship between you and your sister; the ties may have frayed there.

It's strange that the mother is so direct about not wanting this, but could it be related to the financial situation of the fiancé's side or where they will be living? Does she have a fear like "my daughter will struggle there, she won't be able to adapt"? Many people get stuck on details like these.

I think your mother may be intentionally hiding the reason she doesn’t want you to know. Instead of making guesses like "it’s not her choice" or "status difference," it’s important to focus on whether she has a clear interest in this. Is there a concrete concern, such as financial matters, inheritance, or family balance?

I've been really caught up on the idea that your mother doesn't want your fiancé, but rather your brother, due to a loss of control. Because if her reason for not wanting it was based on a logical justification, she would express it somehow; she wouldn't give such an abstract reaction. I mean, if the issue was really the fiancé, I think she would say, "there's this problem here"; otherwise, if the engagement is just an excuse, has there been some underlying resentment towards your brother? You should consider that angle as well.

Your mother's saying that she doesn't want it this clearly may be based on something from the past that you don't know about. Could there be an old acquaintance, hearsay, or experience related to the fiancé's side? Instead of asking your mother directly, you might try to learn more indirectly by asking an elder family member or a trusted relative.

Have you ever thought that the mother acted this way not for herself, but out of a reflex to protect her sibling? For example, could the fiancé have been perceived as a threat, a dominant character, or maybe there’s an impression like "this guy will crush my daughter"? Sometimes a mother's concern manifests in such a sharp reluctance.

She doesn't want the engagement but has she communicated face to face with the fiancé's side? You know, sometimes people can build something in their heads and judge someone they don't even know. Perhaps meeting with the fiancé might break her prejudice.

What if your mother doesn't want the engagement but is putting on a "I know what's best for you" act that she doesn't show to her sister? Could it be that she is reacting because she didn't get her own approval while pretending it was for her sister's well-being? How is your sister doing? Is this desire to not want the engagement putting stress on her?

The reason the mother might not want it could also be: perhaps there is a suspicion or opinion about your fiancé's family, but she cannot express it. Could it be that she is hesitant about a situation like, "the guy is good but his background is complicated"? She might be focused on an issue she hasn't raised on her own. I suggest you probe into this.

So how does your mother express that she doesn't want this? Has she ever said anything directly negative about the fiancé? In such a strong opposition, there could be an irrational worry; she might be resisting the idea of change more than the situation itself. For instance, fear of stepping out of the routine, or the feeling that the balance within the family will be disrupted.

If she's not saying anything about her ex-fiancé but you're still sensing that she doesn't want it, the issue might not be with the engagement but with you. Is she turning a conflict in family dynamics into this engagement issue? Perhaps that situation is an excuse rather than a real intention. What else has been causing tension recently?

Sometimes mothers can mix their own past fears into such matters. Perhaps a disappointment they experienced in their own marriage turns into a reaction like this, so that their daughter doesn't go through the same scenario. Does your mother ever talk about something from her youth, saying something like, "oh, back in those days it was like this"? Maybe the clue is there.

She doesn't want to, but could there be a discomfort regarding "social standing" issues like financial situation, education level, or profession on the fiancé's side? You know how sometimes they can't say it outright, but they might act with the mindset of "we're not equals." Even if it's not direct, they might be hinting at it through their attitudes.

But was there any communication with the fiancé's family regarding the second engagement? You know, sometimes people care not about the groom but about his family. They might have a concern like, "Let there not be any kinship with them." Have these topics ever come up? 😅

She doesn't want it, but could she be making moves to quietly block the engagement? I mean, without saying it outright, filling conversations with hints, small sabotages... Or has everything already happened and the path has been set? If so, will this unwillingness change anything?

Your mother doesn't want it, but why should your sibling take that into account? Is someone really going to cancel the engagement just because their mother doesn't want it? Or do they have doubts of their own? Because whether your mother's concerns are an excuse or a reality is also important. If your sibling has been determined from the beginning, then your mother's attitude shouldn't be that decisive.

You've focused so much on your mother's unwillingness, but your brother's fiancée's perspective hasn't been discussed at all. What is the groom's side doing during this process, and what are their attitudes? Maybe a detail that your mother doesn't want is coming from them, but this topic hasn't been addressed at all. You're only looking at the balance within the family; it could be influenced by an external factor.

If Annen doesn't want to talk about anything regarding her brother's fiancée, she either has a serious hesitation but is avoiding saying it, or she is trying to assert her authority by just saying "I don't want to". However, in such an important matter, taking a stance without discussing the reason is not a healthy thing. Unless someone directly asks "Why don't you want to?" and gets a clear answer, everyone here is just speculating.

While the focus is on the mother's refusal, is your brother's fiancée aware of this situation? In other words, is she sensing the mother's attitude, has she noticed anything? Maybe this situation is reflecting on them in some way, and they are discussing it amongst themselves. Has there not been an invisible tension that has arisen between them?

If she doesn't want it this much, how will the relationship continue when your brother's engagement happens? I mean, how much will this reluctance affect the family dynamics in the long run? No one has talked about this, but will there always be a coldness, or will it be accepted over time?

It's all well and good, but will they postpone or cancel the engagement just because your mother doesn't want it? Is your mother's opinion considered more like a veto rather than just asking for input? Or is this whole thing already progressing firmly; it's unclear. Also, how is your sibling getting along with your fiancé? Is there a crisis between them during this process?

She doesn't want it, but is her refusal based on a single issue or a broader picture? Or is she fixated on singular things like the groom's attitude, or the family's stance? Because some people get stuck on details in such big decisions, for example, the guy's profession, his way of speaking, the family's status... Perhaps her strong resistance is related not to the details, but to a general unease.

Sometimes mothers don't just refuse, they quietly observe from a distance, looking for opportunities to say "I told you so." If your sibling gets engaged, will your mother sabotage this relationship, or will she gradually accept it? It's worth contemplating a little. Otherwise, it could create a constant state of unrest rather than a fresh start.

So how open is your mom about this not wanting situation? I mean, does she say it clearly or does she beat around the bush? Because some moms don't directly say "I don't want it", they imply it and create a tense atmosphere, and everyone interprets it however they want 🤔

Rather than focusing on the possibility of not getting engaged because your mother doesn't want you to, it's more important to consider the likelihood of your mother interfering in the relationship after the engagement. If the engagement process starts off tense, it could lead to constant bias or opposition during the marriage. Is your sibling able to take a stand that can set boundaries with your mother, or will they remain caught in the middle during every tension?

But if the engagement happens against your mother's wishes, won't it affect not only your sister but you as well? You might have to constantly play the role of a mediator within your family. Have you ever thought about where you'll stand in this tension in the long run?

It seems difficult for this situation to progress without fully understanding the reason behind the mother's disapproval of the engagement. Is the reason truly stemming from the fiancé, or is it a fear of losing control on the mother's part? Sometimes, the issue can shift from the person involved to the mother's desire for her "word to have weight."

Maybe what your mother doesn't want isn't just the idea of a son-in-law, but the thought of "losing" her daughter. She may not be able to accept the idea of you leaving home and transitioning to another life. So, if the issue is not about your fiancé but rather the fear of separation, who is she actually resisting against? Have you ever tried talking to her about this feeling?

So, is your mother experiencing this unwillingness only internally, or is she also trying to draw other family members in? Some mothers do not act alone but gather support from their surroundings to exert stronger pressure. If such a situation exists, the fiancé may also struggle to fit into this family dynamic.

Has the mother's attitude turned a bit into a "I know best" vibe, or is she genuinely worried? Because sometimes mothers stretch a valid concern, while other times they blow things out of proportion just because their control is slipping. It seems like the issue here is more about the mother's overall demeanor than about the fiancé. Is she like this when it comes to her own business too?

After the marriage, will your mother and your sibling be in the same environment, in close contact? Because this reluctance may not end with the wedding; it could grow even more as they face each other. It’s also worth considering whether a bit of physical distance could help with this relationship, or if it would cause discomfort under any circumstances.

Is this situation so complicated right from the start because your mom doesn't want it, or is it because your sibling is afraid of clashing with her? The real problem might not be your mom's reaction, but the weight your sibling gives to that reaction. These imbalances don't seem to be resolved with just an engagement.

If the engagement is on hold because your mother doesn't want it, you need to question how "ready" your sibling is for this marriage. Because this is just the beginning. If they can't stand up to their mother's interference in the marriage, what will change by progressing the engagement? These areas seem a bit lacking.

So is your mother's disapproval limited only to your fiancé, or does she also interfere in decisions your sibling makes about other matters? Is this kind of clear reaction specific to this situation, or is it a general "nothing happens without my approval" attitude? Because this distinction could change the way the situation is resolved.

Does the mother have a concrete reason against the fiancé, or is it just an abstract discomfort like "I just didn't warm up to him"? Because if there isn't a tangible reason, this seems more like a power play. If there's nothing concrete, no matter how hard the fiancé tries, he won't be able to please her.

Is there a conflict of interest behind the mother's refusal? You haven't discussed that part at all. Is there a stark contradiction between the fiancé and you in terms of culture, finances, or family structure? Or is it purely an emotional issue? These kinds of unspoken reasons complicate things significantly. It may be necessary to speak a bit more directly.

Sure, your mother might not want the fiancé, but does your sibling know the fiancé well enough to defend them in this situation? If they can't convince your mother, either they're confused themselves or the bond with the fiancé isn't that strong. It's crucial to clarify this part; otherwise, focusing on the mother won't provide a solution.

The fiancé's attitude has been inadequately addressed here. Your sibling is left in the middle, okay, but what about the fiancé's stance in this situation? Is he going to walk alongside someone who cannot protect their own fiancé and family, or is he remaining silent and just focusing on his own business amidst this chaos? Your sibling may have been left stuck between two sides.

Could the fiancé's family have an influence in the event that the mother objects, has this been discussed at all? Because sometimes it seems like the matter only involves the couples, but actually, the families in the background can disrupt the balance. Is there any tension or discord between the fiancé's family and the mother? I think it's worth looking at this perspective as well.

She doesn't want it, the fiancé is silent, your sibling is indecisive... So why is engagement still on the table in this situation? The idea of "we can solve it by getting engaged" doesn't seem very logical to me amidst all this uncertainty. Wouldn't this step create an even bigger crisis before the problems are resolved?

Well, just because your mother doesn't want it, your brother isn't defending his own decision right now, and the fiancé is silent too. But don't you think that if the same engagement takes place, your mother might react even more strongly? What will happen then, everyone will be caught in this triangle. This issue should be resolved while still at home; otherwise, things will get even more complicated.

If your brother chooses his fiancée, will he distance himself from your mother, or will he try to please both? Because it's hard to manage both at the same time. Now, your mother says no, but if this relationship progresses, will she change her attitude, or will there be complete coldness? Are the boundaries for compromises clear?

Is there any meaning to the fact that this engagement is still being planned against Anne's wishes? It’s crucial to resolve how resilient your brother is regarding this issue. If he changes his mind halfway and goes back to his mother, it would be a greater injustice to the fiancée. Is the relationship important, or is the bond with the mother? It's hard to take a step without clarifying this.

After all these comments, I think the dynamics look like this: The mother doesn’t want it, the fiancé is silent, and your sibling is indecisive. So then, who is pushing for the engagement? Is it your sibling insisting on this, or does the fiancé's side view this as a process? Because if everyone is so uncertain, it should be clarified why someone is still trying to push this engagement forward.

The part about who is pressuring the engagement has been brought up, that's fine, but I think it should also be discussed a bit about why the mother "doesn't want it." Is it a personal bias, something about the fiancé's character, or is it entirely an familial/social reason? Because whatever the real reason is, the solution will be shaped accordingly. Right now, it feels like everyone is looking at it from a different perspective.

Mother doesn't want it, but the reason still seems unclear. Does she have a specific objection to the fiancée, or is it a general attitude of "that family won't do"? If it's the latter, this issue won't be resolved after the engagement. Has an attempt been made to bridge the gap between your mother and the fiancée's side, or is everyone staying in their own corner?

If the mother's refusal is based on a clear reason, does your sibling still want the engagement knowing that? Or is everyone just being a bit quiet and leaving it to unfold? Because where you say "indecisive," it actually seems like everyone is avoiding taking responsibility. This won't work out easily without making a direct choice.

there's something missing here: is your brother's fiancée aware of this mother situation? You said silence, but what’s the reason? Is she accepting the "I don’t want you" and staying quiet, or is she still waiting for a positive step? This silence can sometimes seem like "harmony," but it’s actually inactivity, which can create a serious fracture in the relationship. This needs to be asked and talked about clearly.

Is your brother holding on to some hope that your mother will change her attitude, or does he see this situation as something that can be "managed"? Because as far as I understand, the fiancé's side is quiet, the mother has made her stance clear, but it seems like your brother is expecting some kind of resolution. These matters don't work with management, they require clarity. Your mother's reasons for not wanting it are clear, but how is the other side reacting to this? This silence seems a bit passive.

Anne doesn't want it, the fiancé is silent, your sibling is in expectation. But here's the thing: if your sibling goes ahead with the engagement, how will the fiancé's family react to your mother's attitude? In other words, it's not just about the internal dynamics of the family, but the stance of the fiancé's family is also important. Could it be that with each "silent" remark, the other side might be crossing a boundary?

What I find noteworthy here is this: Do you really find it natural that the fiancé's side is taking no action just because the mother doesn't want it? Setting boundaries is one thing, completely staying silent is another. Have their own families taken ownership of the engagement, what do they think? Or is everything just moving forward through your family?

I think the "silence" of the fiancé's side has been overly romanticized. With a mother who doesn't want it, this kind of attitude feels a bit like a "we'll just stay silent no matter what" strategy, but actually, your sibling and your fiancé should have shown a united front. You're talking as if the engagement revolves only around the family; however, the fiancé's side being so hesitant toward conflict sends a bad signal for the future, in my opinion. Inactivity is not always maturity.

Maybe the fiancée's side isn't silent at all; perhaps there just isn't anything reaching your family? How do they evaluate the mother’s attitude in their own matters? Are they planning something based on that? So, the silence may not be a strategy, but it could appear that way from the outside.

We assume the fiancé's side is silent, but perhaps they are not fully aware of the situation? How clearly did your brother communicate your mother's attitude to them? For the fiancé's side to take a clear stance, they need to be involved in the matter from all angles first. If there hasn't been a transparent conversation, that silence may actually stem from a lack of communication.

More than the silence, I'm curious about what the bride's side is willing to risk and what they're not in this shoot. The mother doesn't want it, but are they uncomfortable with this situation, or do they have an expectation like "it will be resolved with time"? Because if they have completely left this "problem-solving task" to your family, this silence may come into play later on.

So, what exactly is your mother's reason for not wanting this? Is it a personal issue, a cultural difference, or is it just an inexplicable feeling like "it's not sitting right with me"? Because when the fiancé hears that reason, they might take a step based on it, or they might completely think, "we can't overcome this obstacle." Without clarifying the reason, it's not reasonable to expect the same reaction from everyone.

She doesn't want it, but is this just a feeling or does she have a concrete reason? If it has been communicated to the other side, are they trying to find a solution or are they in a "take it or leave it" mode? Because if everyone is just waiting on their side, continuing with this engagement seems like an uphill battle from the start.

You say your mother doesn't want it, but does your brother really trust his fiancée? Is it just your mother's attitude that is being struggled with during this process, or does your brother actually have some reservations that he isn't expressing? Sometimes everyone puts the blame on the mother, but the real issue can come from elsewhere.

I think the silence of the fiancé's side is just as important as how determined his brother is. In other words, is the reason your mother doesn't want it clear and definite? Can your brother or fiancé really say "at any cost" while continuing with this? Or is there such uncertainty because they can't manage their reactions?

Has anyone ever asked why the mother didn't want it? Sometimes a mother doesn't say things outright, but everyone assumes she knows. Perhaps in the silence, it's necessary to set aside the fiancé's side and clarify what the mother expects.

Is everyone supposed to revolve around her just because your mother doesn't want to? Do your brother and fiancé have the strength to say, "we want this"? Even if your mother's reason is clear, if these two people are not standing together as a united front, it already seems like a weak relationship from the start.

Anne doesn't want it, but it seems like no one else is taking a clear stance either. Where is the family of the engaged party in this matter? Aren't they offering a response to your mother's thoughts? I mean, this isn't just a clash between the two sides; it seems like everyone is waiting for each other's reactions and backing off.

How active is your brother's fiancée in this situation? Is she just waiting on the family's decision, or is she making an effort to advance the relationship? Because in such cases, usually both sides' attitudes either resolve the situation or complicate it even further. Does your fiancée bring anything to the process?

You say your mother doesn't want it, but could it be that the other party has gotten into the mindset of "no matter what we do, we can't please her" because of your mother's disapproval? In other words, has the other side completely given up? Or is the silence coming from trying to gather their thoughts for a solution? This distinction is worth checking.

She doesn't want it, fine, but how does this situation reflect on the fiancé's family? Are they completely left out? Because if one side is always on edge while the two families should be weighing each other, it will create bigger conflicts in the long run. I hope you are taking this into account as well.

You're discussing your fiancée's family so much, but where is your brother's fiancée's individual stance? Does she have her own position independent of her family? Because in the long run, the relationship needs to be between those two people, not the families.

The family of the fiancée, the fiancée, and your mother are all looking at each other, but the main issue is clear: How much is your brother supporting this? If it's half-hearted and hesitating, then it's not really your mother, the relationship itself is problematic. If your brother can't say "even if my mom doesn't want it," the discussion is pointless.

But the fact that your mother doesn't want it is not the only issue; why doesn't she want it, and is that "why" based on a logical foundation? Or is it just a fear of losing control? Because sometimes, battles related to mother-son relationships turn out to be more about a power struggle than the underlying issue. Is your sibling aware of this distinction?

The link between the mother’s disapproval and the fiancé's attitude is also significant. If the fiancé is holding back with the excuse of "your mother doesn't want this," then that person will behave the same way with another obstacle tomorrow. Someone who truly wants the relationship makes space for themselves in this process, not just for themselves. Does it seem like the guy has left it up to his brother?