Aile & Toplum2 Mayıs 2026

My sister is getting engaged but my mom doesn't want her to

My sister was finally on the verge of getting engaged when my mom suddenly said, 'It's too early.' I believe she's putting pressure on my sister because she's always anxious, saying, 'As if she needs to earn a lot of money, it can't be done without buying a house.' This situation is really stressing my sister out, and I can't stand it either. What should I do while my family intervenes so much?

13 görüntüleme · 1.249 yanıt

1.249 Yanıt

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cicekliperde

But did the fiancé's side ever take a step like, "Our intentions are serious, how should we proceed in this process?" In other words, has the other party made any effort towards reconciliation despite your mother's objections? Or are they just leaving everything to your brother and watching from the sidelines?

tamamda

You're talking about your fiancé, but how are the dynamics within your own family? For instance, is your mother generally compatible with your sibling aside from this situation, or do they usually have a conflicting relationship? Because sometimes the issue isn't directly the fiancé or external factors, but rather old buried problems between the two sides.

koltuktakalan

She doesn't want anything, but isn't it strange that your fiancé's side is also silent about the process? I mean, not taking a step makes one question the seriousness of the situation. I wonder if your brother notices their passiveness and feels uncomfortable, or does it seem normal to him that everyone is so relaxed?

caybardagi

I think we should consider this as well: if your mother is making such a big deal out of not wanting it and is putting pressure on your sister, could this grand stance have pushed the fiancés' side to take a step back even more? It’s possible that the tension in your house has created the impression in their eyes that it's a "barely workable situation." And if your sister is, in the meantime, unintentionally caught between both sides, she should be careful, as the situation could become even more complicated.

cicekliperde

There is so much resistance, have engagement rings really been worn? Or is it still just at the promise level? Because if there's this much tension even before the rings are worn, it seems like there might be bigger crises ahead. Also, is the mother's reason for not wanting this an abstract feeling or is it based on a specific event or observation? Is she still not speaking clearly?

camkenari

Anne doesn't want it, but is her brother's fiancée aware of this? Or are they brushing everything off in a "we can deal with it ourselves" mode? Because an attitude that seems indifferent from the outside could be one side of the problem.

koltuktakalan

So, does your mother share her reasons for not wanting it clearly with your sibling, or does she speak in vague terms? Because in such cases, the level of clarity from your mother is just as important as that from the fiancé. Maybe no one is really aware of what the actual problem is.

cicekliperde

Let me ask this: is your mother expressing that she doesn't want this only within the family, or has she said something like "I do not approve of this engagement" in public as well? Because if that's the case, it could create extra tension on the fiancée's side or among your relatives. Could it be that they're speaking more discreetly to avoid gossip?

caybardagi

How is your brother's fiancée maintaining her relationship with her family? That's what needs to be asked. Does the side of the fiancée have any weight within themselves, or do they not care much about the seriousness of this matter? Because when some men are distant from their families, they can't lead the fiancée's side as they should. This can be problematic in the long run.

cicekliperde

It seems like the fianc\u00e9e's family is not involved at all, which is strange. Since your mother doesn't want it, did she notice something about this family? Or is she just completely fixated on the fianc\u00e9e himself? Because in either case, such silence is not normal. If one side is clearly not saying anything, they either don't care, or there's really something they want to hide.

camkenari

The fiancé may be silent, but you need to ask your sibling, is this guy taking serious steps? For example, is there a plan for marriage, a date, or any other concrete action? Or is it all just about the fairytale of "let's see, we'll manage it"?

cicekliperde

And there's this: If the fiancé's side is completely silent just because your mother doesn't want it, isn't that a bit strange? I mean, isn't anyone from the guy's family reacting with something like "what happened, why is this happening?" As everyone remains silent, the situation could become even more tense.

kirmizikazak

How much does the mother's attitude towards the engagement affect your sibling's decision? In other words, has your sibling started to feel pressured during this process, questioning "Am I doing the right thing?" Or are they completely standing firm and following their own path? Because if the mother's resistance is confusing your sibling, you may face a bigger problem in the future.

tamamda

If the mother's reason for not wanting it is based on something logical, it's quite strange that no one from the fiancé's family has come forward to react. If they are indeed employing a strategy of silence, it seems like a form of standoff for the future. Is the fiancé's side playing with the mindset of "we'll stay silent and deny the situation"? I would suggest checking in.

camkenari

You can't trust a family that is this quiet. Either they were never really okay with the situation from the beginning and are just not saying anything, or they're waiting to explode at some point. I think that silence needs to be cracked open; something is going on beneath the surface.

koltuktakalan

The mother doesn’t want it, but since the fiancé's side is silent, the matter seems to be more than just between the two families. Maybe your brother hasn’t clearly stated anything during this process and is behaving indecisively. I think it's important to analyze how much influence the mother has in this situation. Perhaps they haven’t even made an effort to convince their mother or taken a step for their fiancé.

cicekliperde

What kind of attitude does your sibling have towards the fiancée during this process? Do you know for sure? I mean, are they defending their fiancée, or have they remained a bit silent as well? If they're caught in the middle because their mother disapproves and can't fully embrace their relationship, it means the engagement is already weak.

tamamda

Even if the fiancée’s side is quiet, isn’t the fiancé trying to mend the situation while your mother is saying she doesn’t want this so much? He might be silencing his own family, let’s say that's the case, but is there no direct conversation or effort with your mother? This is a very passive stance; it makes you feel like he’s not taking ownership of the relationship.

kirmizikazak

I think you also need to elaborate a bit on your mother's reasoning as much as the silence of the bride's side here. I mean, is there a specific issue with the guy, or is it just the typical "our girl deserves better" mentality? If there's nothing concrete, the bride's side might have chosen to stay silent to avoid any strain in the situation. But if there is a serious problem, their silence is indeed concerning. We need to discuss how much your mother's reaction aligns with your fiancé's attitude.

cicekliperde

The main issue here is the fiancé's attitude. I mean, what is the fiancé doing during this process? He may feel caught between his mother and brother, but shouldn't a man in this situation stand by his fiancé and take a clearer stance? Is his loyalty to his brother apparent, or is he trying to stay back and avoid hurting anyone?

tamamda

The fiancé's silence is as important as how his brother reacts to this silence. In other words, in a situation where his own relationship has caused so much controversy, did he ever have a serious conversation with the guy? Or has their silence become an escape route for his brother as well? Are they just proceeding with "stay silent, let it pass," or is it time to question it?

farukcan

If your mother's opposition is not based on a concrete issue, the fiancé's silence may be strategic but it could create an unhealthy situation in the long run. However, I also wonder, if your mother is influencing the process with this determination, has your sibling even attempted to speak with the fiancé? Or are they still acting on the hope that "maybe it will get better"? If they remain this passive regarding the solution, it's necessary to reconsider the dynamics in the relationship.

koltuktakalan

Did your brother's fiancée meet directly with your mother during this process? For example, did she take a stance like, "look, I'm here for this relationship, I'm serious about it"? Some guys don't even bother to "manage the future mother-in-law"; they just think it's enough to maintain the relationship with their fiancée. This can create tension in the long run.

cicekliperde

Is the mother's reason for not wanting the fiancé a matter of trust, or is it something she's completely made up in her head? Because sometimes mothers act purely on intuition, but other times they may have taken such a stance because of something they've seen. Is there a problem regarding the fiancé's family or an issue from the past? I think we need to clarify this.

koltuktakalan

Where is the man's family in all this? I mean, your mother doesn't want it, the other side is silent as well; did everyone act alone when starting this relationship? It seems like there's a lack of dialogue between the families, and this engagement is starting off on an unhealthy note.

caybardagi

Even if the reason for the mother's disapproval isn't based on something clear, I still can't help but wonder, "Why is she so against it, what exactly is the issue?" Sometimes mothers take something small and blow it out of proportion, and sometimes they hit the nail on the head with their instincts. Has your sibling ever banged the table and said, "Mom, just say it plainly"? Because dancing around uncertainty can only go so far.

cicekliperde

The fiancé's family is quiet, your mother doesn't want it, your sibling is caught in the middle, but you're missing one point: how much effort does your sibling really put in apart from wanting it? Okay, they love you, but is there a struggle, or are they just waiting for everything to be solved by your mother or your fiancé? It's hard to make this work until everyone's decision is clear.

tamamda

Has your brother talked directly with his fiancée about what their mother doesn't want in this situation? In other words, was there an open confrontation like, "She doesn’t want us, what are we going to do?" It seems like everyone is just dancing around in silence; in such a tense environment, someone needs to cut the knot already, otherwise things won’t resolve on their own.

camkenari

Do you think it's normal for the fiancé's family to be silent? Sure, your mother doesn't want it, but why is that side completely in the background? I mean, how do you think a side that is so absent can build a shared life moving forward? Will they keep watching from a distance and just let it pass?

kirmizikazak

You say that your mother doesn't want this, but however illogical the reason may be, is it really possible to move forward completely ignoring such a clear objection? Marriage isn't just a bond between two people; it also requires a balance between families. Your fiancé should step in and try to win over your mother, because this "winning by staying silent" approach will lead to bigger crises in the future. Your sibling may not see the danger, but their current attitude signals something about the future relationship dynamic. How will someone who can't stand strong at first manage when problems arise?

cicekliperde

But are you going to cancel the job just because your mother doesn't want it? Everyone's opinion is important, but the final decision is up to your brother and your fiancé. In this case, we should consider how much your brother embraces this relationship as much as we ask why your mother doesn't want it. He is the one getting married; is he aware of that?

camkenari

He doesn't want the other fiancé, but has your sibling taken this situation seriously and asked directly "why don't you want him/her?" or is everyone just expecting each other to think about it? If there's no concrete reason, no one will end up with a wedding from this silence.

caybardagi

If your mother says she doesn't want it this clearly, could it have something to do with the other party? Like your family's approach or some rumor going around. If your sibling didn't ask, "Mom, why don't you want it?" and if the fiancé didn't involve his own family either, then this relationship is starting with a serious crisis. A marriage where everyone is waiting in their own corner won't be healthy.

camkenari

I would ask directly. If they turn the topic to you instead of giving an answer, then there seems to be something fishy going on.

tamamda

Why is his fiancée's family so passive? Do they really see it as a problem, or are they just withdrawing because the mother doesn't want it? If there's something they don't want, isn't it more problematic to leave things in limbo by just watching instead of expressing it openly? How can a partnership be established with so much passivity?

cicekliperde

I think it's just as important how logical your mother's reasons for not wanting this are as it is whether your sibling is ignoring those reasons. Because sometimes people can just say "sure, it works" under the pressure of marriage and ignore the obvious issues. A problem that can't be solved during engagement will double in size tomorrow. If your sibling trusts their fiancé(e), why can't they come forward and explain the situation in front of everyone?

camkenari

It's strange that the fiancé's family is holding back this much. Are they a family that completely withdraws just because the mother doesn't want it, or is it a structure that has been distant from the beginning? If there's another reason, why isn't the fiancé acting as a bridge in between? How far can this cold balance go from the start?

tamamda

Anne doesn't want it, but the attitude of the fiancé doesn't seem clear either. Is your sibling okay with such a passive stance? If the person you are going to marry isn't fighting for you, if they aren't putting their hand to the stone in a family crisis, what will you face together in the future?

kirmizikazak

Let's say your mother doesn't want it, but does the fiancé's family really say "we don't want it" or are they just quiet because of your mother's pressure? Because in such situations, if one side is silent and the other side is dominant, the situation can really become complicated. If both families are not brave enough to talk openly, this marriage will be stuck in limbo from the start.

cicekliperde

Now you say the mother doesn't want it, but at the beginning of this, there's your sister who will be the bride candidate. Is the engaged man marrying her or her family? How is the compatibility between your sister and her fiancé? If there's a problem there, the relationship won't work even if the mother doesn't want it. If the coldness is only because of the families, then why isn't the fiancé fixing the situation? A relationship can't thrive in the shadow of families.

koltuktakalan

Besides the pressure of marriage, it’s important to focus on why your sister chose this man. Is he someone she didn't want, or is he really someone she has connected with? If it’s just to create a structure, she would be doing a disservice to herself, not to your mother.

cicekliperde

Consider this perspective as well: Is the engaged man unable to assert himself with his own family, or does he actually agree with them and not want to take responsibility for this situation? Because if he can't adopt a separate, independent stance from his family from the beginning, will he handle every issue related to his own family like this in the future? This is something that will always be resolved based on the fiancé's attitude.

caybardagi

Whatever the reason for the mother's objections, the issue comes down to the fiancé's attitude. If his family is not fully supporting his decision either, there is an authority vacuum there. A man who cannot balance the weight of his own family and also cannot create a common ground with the other side—this scenario occurs not only in the engagement period but also in every crisis situation. Is your brother ready for this "being stuck in between" situation?

cicekliperde

There's so much talk going around, but no one has asked this: Is your sibling happy during this process? I mean, if they're caught up in so much tension while engaged and aren't sure about their own happiness, what's the point of a big wedding celebration? Maybe it's important to clarify what your sibling truly wants first.

tamamda

There isn't a clear answer to "why don't they want it". Is it just your mother, or does your fiancée's family have reservations too? Or is everyone just looking at each other and passing the blame? The dynamic of the relationship isn't determined by one person; it's defined by the equation.

kirmizikazak

No one has ever asked this: Is your brother's fiancée someone who meets the expectations of your mother or your family, or is she just someone who's a perfect match for your brother? Because usually, familial concerns are based on things like "the man's position/career" or cultural mismatches. Is your brother aware of this conflict, or does he think it will "sort itself out over time"? If so, that would be quite naive.

koltuktakalan

I think the problem is neither your mother's nor your fiancé's family. Does your sibling feel strong and peaceful next to this man? Or is she getting tossed around by the pressures coming from both sides right from the beginning? The stress within the relationship can wear you down much more than outside pressures.

kirmizikazak

Has your sibling talked openly about the reasons why they don't want to? Or is there a passive-aggressive "I don't know, you know" vibe? If they're opposing it, what specifically are they opposing? Because this uncertainty isn't a solution; it’s just building up tension.

cicekliperde

If she says she doesn't want it, there should be a concrete reason behind it, not just something abstract like "I don't like it, it doesn't sit well with me." For instance, did she see something in the guy's family, or does she have an impression related to her fiancé's character? Sometimes, there are points that come from experience associated with an age difference that we don't initially understand. It's important to ensure she speaks clearly so that your sister doesn't overlook any unnecessary unhappiness.

kirmizikazak

Your sister doesn't want it, but what does your brother's fiancée's family think? Where do they stand in this relationship? Often, if there's resistance on both sides, this conflict is not just an individual issue that runs through the engaged couple. Does your sister realize that there is no common ground, or is she thinking that she can manage both sides? This could turn into a bigger burden later on.

camkenari

Is the mother's reason for objection solely regarding the fiancé, or is there a general reflex of intervening in her brother's choices? If she opposes everything he doesn't understand, then it's not just the groom candidate that should be questioned, but also her style of motherhood. Without resolving how independent a decision her brother could make, there's no point in talking about the wedding.

cicekliperde

Did your brother's fiancée have a face-to-face talk with your mother during this process? You know they'll definitely be in touch after the wedding, but let's not let the unresolved tension blow up there right now. Maybe the guy doesn't fully grasp the situation he's facing.

tamamda

All we know is that only your mother doesn't want this, but what is your sibling's reaction to the situation? Are they saying, "I'm happy this way, let my mom accept it," or are they constantly arguing with her? Because what's important here is not just your mother's veto, but how much your sibling can own their own relationship.

camkenari

Is your sister's fiancée taking any direct steps during this process? Or is all the tension being carried by your sister? Because the fiancée's passivity only reinforces your mother's reluctance.

tamamda

She doesn't want it, but does your fiancé's family know about this situation? Have they reacted? Is it a matter of an imbalance between the two sides, or is it just an internal family issue? Because if there is pressure from the outside, the course of events would be different.

cicekliperde

You said they don't want to, but are they expressing this discomfort to someone else? For example, are they talking about it with a close relative or your father? Maybe a different perspective or detail could be learned from there.

caybardagi

You said your mother doesn't want the groom, but is the issue really about the groom, or is there an ongoing power struggle between your mother and your sibling? Because sometimes in such cases, it turns into a display of power that's independent of the person involved. Has your mother tended to discuss or reject her decisions before, or is this a completely new situation?

cicekliperde

So you said your mother doesn't want it, but whether she knows your fiancé or not is also a bit important. Is it something she has seen, known, or heard, or is she approaching it purely with a prejudice? Sometimes a single word, an unnecessary gossip can start everything.

camkenari

Is there a concrete reason behind the mother’s firm "I don’t want this" stance regarding the fiancé, or is she just creating an excuse? Did she present a clear reason, or is she only speaking in vague terms like "I just didn’t warm up to him"? Because if everything is unclear, it seems the issue isn’t really with the fiancé.

koltuktakalan

If the mother's attitude is this clear, the issue might be an independent matter of "control" rather than just about the fiancé. It’s the situation of feeling that one's own opinions are being questioned in their own home. How much weight did the mother's words carry in previous decisions, and when was that chain broken? This reaction is somewhat similar to that.

caybardagi

The background of why your mother is so adamant about this is also important in terms of her role or stance within the family. For example, is your mother someone who tends to belittle your sibling's decisions and has a mindset of "you don't know"? If so, the issue may relate more to your sibling's courage to make independent decisions than to the fiancé. Remember how someone who has previously faced a firm refusal from your mother reacted.

cicekliperde

I think it's important to check a bit with the people around the mother about her not wanting it. I mean, did any of her other friends or relatives say something about this fiancé that confused her? Because sometimes a mother acts more on rumors she hears than on what she actually feels. It’s hard to tell if a conversation could lead to any clues.

kirmizikazak

The duration of the mother's reaction is also important. Were they distant from the fiancé from the beginning, or did something trigger it later? If it has been consistent, it may just be a matter of habit, but if it flared up later, it's necessary to find out what they heard from whom. Sit down with your sibling and clarify if there was any incident in the past.

cicekliperde

So how does your brother react to your mother's opinion about her fiancé? Have they discussed this issue openly between them, or does your mother just seem to be grumbling from the outside? Sometimes it gets difficult to find a solution without directly bringing the discussion to one side.

tamamda

But is your mother really against the engagement itself or is it the marriage? Some mothers get uncomfortable with this major change in their child's life, experiencing the fear that "they will need me less." Even if the groom is a wonderful person, he can still cause problems.

cicekliperde

Maybe your mother isn't concerned about the fiancé, but rather about finding the engagement too quickly? For instance, did a similar "rushed" marriage in the family end badly before? Some mothers, once they've seen that wrong step, always look at the same situation with suspicion.

tamamda

But does your mother just say this, or does she also show it through her behaviors? Does she give a clear response, or does she hint at it? Because if she's not openly opposing, she might be trying to get her way without straining the relationship with your sibling.

camkenari

Does the mother have any concrete criticism of the fiancé? Or is she just saying, "I felt it, I didn't like it"? Because if there's no tangible reason, this might turn into a power struggle. Everyone is digging too deep, but sometimes such wars break out just to say, "I want it my way."

tamamda

How does the mother's disapproval of the fiancé affect her sister? Is there a dynamic of "whatever she says is correct" between them? Perhaps the sister has always tried to win their mother's approval, and now she fears that marriage will cause even greater conflict. In other words, it’s not just about the fiancé; it’s important to also consider the mother-daughter relationship.

cicekliperde

So who does your mother envision as an alternative to the fiancé? Is there a criterion in her mind like "someone should be like this" or is it just a completely vague rejection? Because sometimes such reactions start when she sees someone who doesn't fit the previous dream groom profile.

camkenari

Perhaps the issue is not with the fiancé, but with a deficiency in the mother's own life? Did her own marriage trigger a choice that created regret in her past or a suppressed longing? Sometimes, a person tries to correct their own story through the lives of others.

cicekliperde

Do you think your mom might have a concern similar to social pressure? You know, the fear of "what will others say" can sometimes get in the way of the wedding process more than the fiancé. Financial burden, etiquette rules, guest expectations, and so on. Has she ever talked about having any discomfort in this regard?

tamamda

So, has your mother ever spent time one-on-one with her fiancé? Because sometimes people create an image in their heads and become hostile towards it, without really knowing the other person. Even a couple of hours spent together in a sincere environment can break this prejudice.

koltuktakalan

If the mother has a reason for not wanting the fiancé, is she expressing it clearly? If she remains silent and makes passive-aggressive moves, there might be a power struggle going on. Because sometimes the issue is not the person, but the desire to stay in control. How much your sister allows this is critical.

kirmizikazak

Is the mother's reaction just towards the fiancé, or is it generally about the big change in her sister's life? Because sometimes the real issue isn't the fiancé, but rather the idea of the girl "breaking away from home" that she can't quite get used to. Could a separation anxiety have been triggered there? We need to look into this.

camkenari

Does only your sister know about your mother's objection, or has she also projected it onto your fiancé? Because if somehow this reaches your fiancé's ears, the progress of this matter will be hindered from the start. We need to consider whether this will disrupt the dynamics between them.

farukcan

No matter how reasonable the mother's objections may be, if your sister feels constantly caught in the middle and under pressure during this process, it could seriously damage the mother-daughter relationship in the long run. If the mother is not willing to back down on this issue, your sister will have to learn to set boundaries. Otherwise, this tension won't just be limited to the engagement, it will affect the entire marriage process.

cicekliperde

So, does your mother have a trust issue with the fiancé, or is she concerned about things like family structure, temperament, and such? Because if she trusts him, this can be resolved through conversation; but if she's talking about personality clashes, she might have a point. If she explains it with good intentions and your side tries to understand, a clearer conclusion could be reached.

tamamda

Okay, but are your mother's objections about the fiancé something concrete, or is it more of a general "I just don't like him" vibe? Because if it's an instinctive reaction, maybe she has observations that she's not able to articulate or isn't aware of. But if there's nothing concrete, then it seems like she might just be trying to project her own discomfort onto everyone else.

farukcan

Is your mother alone in her objection to the fiancé, or is there someone else in the family supporting her? Because usually, in situations like this, the person who feels alone tends to escalate the stubbornness even more. Also, has there been any wrong behavior from the fiancé's side, for instance, was something your mother said not taken seriously? These aspects need to be examined carefully.

koltuktakalan

Could the reason the mother disapproves be an independent perception of "someone who is not one of us" related to her personality? For some families, the issue is not just about compatibility, but that the new bond formed with an outsider may seem like a threat. If it had been someone chosen from her own circle, would she have reacted the same way? This is something to consider.

cicekliperde

Maybe your fiancée is uneasy because of her family? You know how sometimes they think, "it's against our family structure"; the issue shifts from the person to completely fitting into their order. Check in with her, is there something like that? Because this requires not changing the fiancée, but settling the families.

caybardagi

It's hard to resolve the issue without clarifying the mother's reason for objecting to the fiancé. But here's an important point: Has your sibling explicitly asked your mother, "What exactly are you against? Please be specific" while sitting down with her? In general, in such situations, the opposing side often speaks indirectly and doesn't fully articulate their concerns. If the reason becomes clear, it might be possible to find a way forward without escalating tensions between both sides.

cicekliperde

Maybe your mother actually doesn't want the engagement to happen, but rather your sibling's engagement? I mean, she might have a fear like "they'll go off and get established, and I'll lose control over them." For example, responses like this sometimes indicate that the issue is not about the person, but rather about the process. Think about that as well.

camkenari

She says she doesn't want the fiancée, but is there some resentment because they didn't get her approval? I mean, if her opinion hasn't been considered from the start, then the reason might not actually be "not wanting the fiancée," but rather feeling excluded. If it started off wrong, it might be difficult to correct it now.

cicekliperde

If the mother's reason for not wanting the fiancé isn't cultural or personal, sometimes the reason can also be economic fears. In other words, she might have concerns like, "Can this person secure my daughter's future financially?" I suggest asking directly from this perspective to try to understand what's going through the mother's mind.

tamamda

Okay, but how much of your mother's disapproval do you think comes from her desire to control the relationship between you and your sibling? I mean, the issue might not be about the fiancé at all; the real problem could be that your sibling is about to step outside of her "approval circle." Is your mother generally this involved in decision-making processes? If so, the issue may not lie with the fiancé, but rather in your mother's inability to learn to let go.

cicekliperde

Could she have already envisioned another groom in her mind? Sometimes, family elders intend for someone to be "suitable" without telling anyone. Now, when your sibling gets engaged to someone else, she might feel like that dream has been shattered. Did she have such expectations, was it ever discussed?

koltuktakalan

So, is your fiancé's family involved here? Have they ever met your mother? Sometimes the situation is not just about being "personal"; it can also arise from how both sides feel about each other. Perhaps your mother is unsettled by the other side's attitude or the lack of communication between them—have you looked into this at all?

tamamda

Okay, you say that she doesn't want the fiancé, but does the mother have an alternative solution? I mean, it’s easy to say "I don’t want it," but if she’s talking without a logical proposal against the scenario she doesn’t want, that veers into manipulation. Do you think she is really looking for a solution, or does she prefer to complicate things?

cicekliperde

Your mother doesn't want the fiancé, but what about the way the fiancé's sibling interferes in things? Did the groom candidate cause a problem, or is your mother just uncomfortable with her authority being challenged? I think the situation should be assessed not just from your mother's concerns, but also from the fiancé's attitude; the discord could be two-sided.

camkenari

But if your mother is showing this much resistance, what is your fiancé's position? Does your sister's fiancé have a stance on this situation, or has it turned into a conflict that remains entirely between your mother and you? Because if he is silent, it means he will embark on a path with someone who cannot defend their own rights, which is another problem.

kirmizikazak

Rather than the mother not wanting to accept the fiancé, one should consider how clear the sibling's stance is in the marriage process. In other words, how much can the sibling set boundaries against the mother's attitude or defend themselves? Because if they are influenced so easily from the start, the mother's interference will likely continue even after marriage.

koltuktakalan

No one came out to defend the fiancé, did you notice? I mean, has there been any step taken to show themselves, like something along the lines of "we think this way too"? Leaving aside the issue with your mom, the guy seems completely silent; doesn't that create a bigger problem down the line?

tamamda

Everyone is talking about the fiancé, but does your brother still want to continue with the engagement? Or is he just withdrawing right now because he "doesn't want to take the first step"? Maybe he's trying to postpone the solution by making it more complicated. This needs to be clarified.

cicekliperde

You say your mother doesn't want it now, but is your fiancé's family making any effort regarding this matter? In other words, has anyone seen any steps taken to ease the tension between the two families, or has it remained an issue expected to be resolved entirely within your family? If bonds are not being established between the families, it may have further fueled your mother's resistance.

farukcan

We need to clarify whether the mother's reason for not wanting the fiancé is personal or based on something else. For instance, does she have a bad experience with someone like him in the past? Or did she see something that she thinks would harm the relationship between your sibling and your fiancé? Can you give a bit more detail?

tamamda

I get that your mom doesn't want this, but who makes the decision? Can your sister continue this engagement without her mother's approval? Sometimes the issue isn't just with the fiancé, but where the family's boundaries end. We need to understand how free your sister is right now.

caybardagi

The fiancé's side is silent, your mother is against it, and your brother still seems to be saying, "I'm continuing the engagement." But we need to ask: why isn't the fiancé involving his family in this? If the man's family is completely in the background, it means your brother will bear the burden alone in the future. Is your brother even ready for that, for example?

koltuktakalan

I've been curious about this since the beginning: Is your mother's reason for not wanting this definite, or can it change? In other words, is it a clear event, a personal grievance, or is she just resisting because she feels it doesn't sit right with her? Because if it's the latter, a sincere sit-down conversation between both sides could resolve some things, but if it's the former, it gets a bit more complicated.